Alcide Herveaux Puns

Hi, I'm new here and I'm having a hard time since last night with my very own celebrity ME.

This is a long post so please bear with me.

Around late 2015 early 2016 I got an offer from my cable company to add HBO and it would actually lower my bill from what I had been paying so of course I took the deal. I finally got to watch Game Of Thrones that everyone had been talking about and got all caught up by binging it. Not long after when I couldn't sleep I started looking for something else to watch and I found True Blood.

I'd never heard of it but I've always enjoyed vampire/supernatural movies and books so I started watching it. One of the stand out characters for me was the character of Alcide Herveaux played by Joe Manganiello. Of course Joe Manganiello is hot but I had never heard of him so I started looking him up to see what else he'd been in, then I ran across interviews he did that were on youtube (EDIT: these were interviews with Entertainment Tonight and The Today Show, not small, independent places) talking about how he'd had a brain tumor and surgery and even showed a picture of the left side of his head shaved and the staples in the incision. He talked about how hard it was learning to walk and talk all over again and his wife teased him that he was more worried about being able to continue being a dungeon master and playing Dungeons and Dragons with his group. That's how I found out he was into D&D. It really struck a chord with me because my stepmother had just had a brain tumor removed and was having a lot of trouble with her speech and coordination.

Fast Forward to about a month ago, my boyfriend and I were looking for something to watch and I suggested True Blood because I know he likes vampire movies. I was telling him about Joe Manganiello and his surgery and D&D, then last night I started looking for the things I'd found years before, the interviews, the picture of his shaved head with the incision and there's absolutely nothing! Not a thing! Apparently he never had a brain tumor or surgery for it but now he had surgery to have his appendix removed. That's it! I vividly recall the picture of his head, showing the left side of his face and the long incision with staples in it. He talked about how worried he'd been that he wouldn't be able to do the Magic Mike movie because he could barely walk let alone dance.

Now none of that exists and I feel like I'm going crazy. Does ANYONE else remember anything like this? Or am I losin

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

And boy are my arms legs.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)