I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
What weighs more 10 pounds of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers?
Feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds
There are 10 kinds of people
- People who know binary
- People who don't
My wife and I just celebrated 10 years of happy marriage...
It was coincidentally our 30th wedding anniversary.
When I was in charge of editing an action movie, I noticed an unnecessary scene that was only slowing down the plot.
So I decided to just cut to the chase.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
Did you hear about the bouncy castle with a size of 10,000 Sq ft area?
The entry is quite expensive, mostly due to inflation.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
I entered 10 puns in a joke contest. I figured one of them would win...
I have 10 pet geese,out of which 8 speak perfect English.
The last two are Portuguese.
Here we see two birds of prey in full action
Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed
I specialize in the study of swear words from the 1800s...
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas
I didn’t really want it but it’s the Thoth that counts
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
9 times out of 10 a carnivore will choose a small space rock over human flesh...
Because the rock is a little meteor.
They say there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think that's Booleshit.
There are 10 types of engineering students
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
The sum of 10+10 and 11+11 are equal.
December tenth is the best day of the year
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
I watched a film about a goverment loan. There was a lot of action.
My daughter had her 6th driving test yesterday. She got 8 out of 10.
The other 2 jumped out of the way.
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs
Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick?
Apparently, you can only see the ghost of Santa December 25th
That's when he reveals his presents
A two-star officer was so vain about how good he looked in the updated uniform...
...he ordered all flare guns to be loaded with an action figure in his likeness. That's right:
the Very model of a modern major general.
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit £10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
“Like £10 notes” I told him
What do you call a row of 10 rabbits jumping backwards?
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
10 years ago I promised to myself not to touch a drop of drink while I'm at work.
I haven't touched a job since.
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.
If you were born between December 22nd and January 20th then that means you're a part of the
Only about 10% of my dadjokes are funny...
...I guess I'm just a one-pun-in-ten dad.
Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?
Looks like a hundred bucks!
My wife said on a scale of 1 to 10, she rates me an 11
I was so happy but then she told me it was a pH scale because I’m basic as hell.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still don’t get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
There are really only 10 different kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
There are 10 kinds of people.
Those that understand binary and those who dont.
There are 10 types of people
People who understand binary
And people who don’t
There are 10 kinds of people...
Those who understand binary...
and those who don't.
There are 10 types of people in this world
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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