You're suppose to name one of your own.
Now heβs a great grandfather
But Iβm not sure little Pete and Repete appreciate it.
Are they guilty of resisting a rest.
Which REALLY pissed my sister off!
A doughter
But the kids still get in.
Yeah. It was wrong on so many levels.
Bratwurst.
Preg-Nancy.
βBisonβ
Because she didn't give birth to me until she was an adult.
At first it was terrible, but by the end, I found amazing.
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
You ROCKET to sleep.
They could only produce a Solo child.
So that he would be apparent.
Yep a total of 13 years
ππ¦π΅ π΅π©π’π΅ π΄πͺπ―π¬ πͺπ―...
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesnβt use Reddit). π
My son looks at me and says, βyou know Iβm blind right?β Me being me said βExactlyβ
They're both koala-tea-seals!
We couldn't afford a dog.
I wasn't born until he was an adult.
What a desserter!
THIS REALLY ANNOYED MY YOUNGER SISTER.
βNo, this is her husbandβ
It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
Namaste.
Shouldn't it be take out?
It is a minor issue
My kids are still able to get in the house.
"Dad, what does being drunk feels like?"
"Well son, you see those four trees over there? If you were drunk, you'd see eight trees."
"Dad, there are only two trees."
..why would I want two empty glasses..!?
βGive it to me straight, doc.β
G. I. - G. I. Joe.
They shall be invincible
Tell them they are going to the prayground
It's heREDDITary
Seizing this as a moral teaching moment she tells her daughter this little white lie, "Well young lady, when a daughter does something naughty, one of her mother's hairs turns grey."
After several moments of deep thought her daughter says to her mother, "So, mommy is that why all of grandma's hair is grey????"
β¦ are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Resisting a rest!
