6 Years Puns

Boy, was that nun mad!

He said this over and over

Finally, baby sis turns to him and says : "what's your name again?"

"It's Josh"... He said, confused 🤔

Baby sis : "That's right. It's not Jesus!"

True story 😂

Turns out I wasn't the sharpest kid after all

The difference is night and day.

Dang, it feels like that was about A WEEK AGO...

I'm a huge pianist

I was the strongest 6 year old in the country

I guess you could say he hasn't lost any of his..Vitale-ity

“Dad, I’m coughing.“ So of course I respond with, “Hi coughing, I’m dad.“

He stops and says in an exasperated six-year-old voice, “No! I’m co….” pauses “No! I’m cou….” pauses “I have a cough!”

He is picking this up quickly.

Well, because he’s bald.

Maybe it’s just late and I got the nighttime giggles, but had me about dyin’ for a minute.

Answer: Paw-jamas

Ice Krispies!

“Oooooooooo”

I was holding my daughter in the living room and she saw the jewelry making kit she got for Christmas. She asked me to make her a necklace.

So I immediately dropped her.

She held on to me and dangled with her arms around my neck.

"There, you're a necklace."

Hey all,

I thought I would share a wholesome yet hilarious jab at me my daughter unintentionally made last night.

I honestly can’t remember what joke I made last night but it’s one that we would all make. akin to the “kid comes up and days I’m hungry” joke. I chuckle to myself.

My 6 year old responds Daughter: “Mom, is Dad still learning to tell jokes?” Wife: “No sweetie why do you ask?” Daughter deadpan face and tone: “Because that wasn’t funny.”

Where there’s a Will, there’s a Wei.

LON

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

One of them says “No this is a Kid Knee” with a smirk while pointing to his knee! I about died laughing.

To get his nuts.

This was a simple question but it wasn’t. As I wasn’t paying attention I said I don’t know, where

He has this naughty smile on his face and says : RiverBank

I guess you could say that she has got a sense of hue-mer.

"Because they don't have any organs!"

I'm obviously raising this kid right.

How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? (In 3 steps)

1. Open the fridge
2. Put the giraffe in the fridge
3. Close the fridge

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? (In 4 steps this time)

1. Open the fridge
2. Take the giraffe OUT!
3. Put elephant in
4. Close the fridge!

How do you get a lion to take an elevator?

... No steps this time, daddy, he took the elevator!

Because they don't have pockets.

Air-vrything.

I'm so proud.

I received a Mjölnir bottle opener for Christmas. My daughter just held it up and asked “what is this (pause for dramatic effect) Thor?”

A hammer.

I like Green more than Yellow and Blue combined

Dad can I have some fries?

You can have A fry.

Well I want B fry.

My sister was scratching her son's back at bedtime while they talked. She told him it was time for bed.

Him: "Please don't go yet."

Her: "OK, but you have to lie quietly."

Him: (Whispering) "I'm 21 years old."

Me: “I may have… why?” My kid: “Great, now you have some gas money”

Kids got better dad jokes than me!

He was Coffin all morning.

You’ll get a tummyegg. So proud

She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

Me: There's a boy in your class that really loves pears?

6: Apparrrrrrrently

You Dont Know How It Peels

I said it’s always present time

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

“On the buzzzzz.” So proud.

Cashews are bankers.

Peanuts are urologists.

And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.

The Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."

Every week, I had an appointment with a doctor where they would ask me about my health. They would ask me the same usual questions. This is how it would go:

Dr: Do you get a dry mouth?

Me: Yes but I drink water to compensate.

Dr: Any issues with hearing?

Me: Sorry?

Dr (louder): any issues with hearing?

Me: Beg your pardon?

Dr starts laughing

My daughter and I have been trading these. Here is our current list - would love to hear more!

1. I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.
2. I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
3. I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
4. I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.
5. I lost my job as a maze designed. I got lost in my work.
6. I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!
7. I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!
8. I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”
9. I lost my job as an astronomer. I thought my work was looking up!
10. I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.
11. I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!
12. I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.
13. I lost my job as a math teacher, same job I’ve had since 2000. That’s 46 years down the drain!
14. I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.
15. I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.
16. I lost my job as a baker. I really kneaded the dough!
17. I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.
18. I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.
19. I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.
20. I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.
21. I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.
22. I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.
23. I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.
24. I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.
25. I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.
26. I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.
27. I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.
28. I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.
29. I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
30. I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.
31. I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.
32. I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.
33. I lost my job at Dunkin. It’s ok, I was fed up wit

I got you covered