Yesterday I was supposed to get 2 dollars and 50 cents after my transaction at the mall but only got 2 dollars

It doesn’t make any cents

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loclink
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I just spent $13 on 2 cents worth of bamboo

I got bamboozled.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garshopolis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.

The other one is.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
My 2 cents on Google Surveys

http://i.imgur.com/NljG8fo.png

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
🚨︎ report
What concert costs only 45 cents to go to?

50 cent featuring Nickelback.

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny.

Judge: What?

Lawyer: He's in a cent.

Judge: You're going to jail with him.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?

He's in a cent

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoondogGLOVER1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I opened my wallet and got confused when I only saw paper bills..

It doesn't make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/borsken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I invested in a bank that gave 0% interest.

It made no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Send666Nudes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
The worker penny machine at the mint suddenly stopped working for no reason.

It just doesn’t make any cents

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/angryvet-420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
How can there be a national coin shortage?

Makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 582
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_live_in_a_truck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the banker say when the customer asked for his opinion?

I’ll give you my two cents.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deerkiller14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
There is a cult where they don’t believe in using coins.

Sounds like a bunch of non-cents!

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WordenYarmouth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins

They have no common cents

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtyj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Husband: Babe, I got paid more than I expected! This is great!!!!

Wife: Sweet! How much are we talking??

Husband: Well it is normally $1000, but this time I got $1000.02!!!!!!!

Wife: ...thats not that great.

Husband: Well I think it is, but that’s just my two cents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The more I think about counterfeiting coins, the more I think I’m going to do it.

It makes a ton of cents.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghorse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My son told me he wanted to start a change collection.

I told him that makes a lot of cents.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/racismisgay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My uncle used to be a rare coin dealer...

Until a group of crooks broke into his shop & beat him 'cent-less'

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the coin shortage?

Apparently, America is literally out of common cents!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chopinsbach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I am baffled that the cashier is out of change.

Makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/upsidedownqbert
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?

He didn't have a lot of common cents.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3hall
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I wish thought controlled ATMs existed

They make cents when you think about it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamehound266
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't figure out why the U.S. Mint wasn't working...

But then it started to make cents.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy told me to keep the change

I dunno, it didn't make much cents to me. I already keep the change I made; I've been the same way for years.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeanTheBermanator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a chemist and says, "Do you have any lip balm?"

Chemist says, "Sure, that'll be 95 cents!"

Duck: "Put it on my bill please."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Sidgio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Spend your last dollar on a $0.98 lottery ticket and see what you end up with.

That's just my two cents.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have been working on the most illogical street performance act...

It makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnykelly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working.

It doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The 20c making machine at The Mint suddenly stop working for no reason.

It just doesn't make any cents

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation.

It doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What music concert costs only 45 cents?

It's 50 Cent featuring nickleback.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/its_zack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Lawyer says, my client is trapped in a penny

He is in a cent

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atharvanaik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
"What concert costs just 45 cents?"

"50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itiswhatitiskid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.

It just doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, without explanation.

It doesn't make any cents!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubres
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What concert costs only 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

πŸ‘︎ 264
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwissCheeto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Tickets on sale now for 50 Cent opening for Nickelback...

...Only 45 cents

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vintagepatriot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Since the US has a shortage of coins

Does that mean we have a lack of common cents?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jHugley328
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does my coin minting machine have to be broken...

It just doesn't make cents

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Every machine in the coin factory stopped working

It just doesn't make any cents!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sharplight141
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
So, I bought a coin minting machine on eBay for $10...

But the thing only makes pennies. I understand now why it was so cheap. It makes cents

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aakashrajaraman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FredererPower
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corpse1984
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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