In Germany they even have a sausage made out of other sausages.
It's the wurst of the wurst.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 22 2021
In Germany we say βGuten Tagβ as Hello. Do you know what itβs called though when 2 Germans throw bread at each other?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
I didn't like going to the bathroom in Germany
I really brought out the worst in me.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
In Germany, is it appropriate to refer to it as 21:00
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 23 2021
I hear many ppl in Germany are preparing for another COVID spike by buying alot of cheese and sausages.
I hope it won't be wurst kase scenario.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Oct 22 2021
How do I think about Germany on a scale of 1 to 10?
Nein
(Also, Merry Christmas)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 26 2021
Did you know that Germany produced some of the best animal doctors in the world after WW II?
They were veteran Aryans.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 03 2021
What is the Capital of Germany?
π︎ 37
π
︎ Nov 12 2021
What is the collective noun for a pun in Germany?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 27 2021
Why do birds in Germany think they can drive cars?
They heard that they're enrolled in the Autobahn Sociey.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 29 2021
What do they call pastors in Germany?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 29 2021
There was this Austrian guy who moved to Germany and became a pretty evil dude.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 20 2021
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?
You take away their little brooms
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
What do you call a historian studying a music genre that originated in Jamaica in the late 1950s...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
What do u call the most annoying child in Germany?
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 25 2021
A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!" I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!" He replied, "I don't know."
"That's what they're fighting about."
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
What does the US text to France, Italy, UK and Germany late at night during the G20 Summit?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 31 2021
Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii?
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 12 2022
I asked my daughter, "If thereβs a bee in my hand, whatβs in my eye?" Rolling her eyes, she said, "I give up. What?"
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
This just in from my daughter: What do you live in if you live in Antarctica?
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud πππ
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, βHa! Thatβs not going to help!β I replied, βSure, it does.β
βItβs the only way I can see the numbers.β
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 22 2021
The people of Germany were sure that Hitler would be a heroic leader in 1933.
They were wrong, as he didn't have the balls they were expecting.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 05 2021
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
Did you hear about the latest electric car from Germany?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 23 2021
My son was born yesterday and is in the NICU. [META]
What are your best dad jokes? Whoever tells me the funniest one will have the honor of knowing their dad joke was my first as a dad.
Edit: there are two winners.
The first is one I told to my wife. It is about him being born with 4 kidneys but two of them will become adult knees. Thank you u/cabbithunt
The second I told me son. "There are two fish in a tank. One fish looks at the other and says 'I'll drive you man the guns.'" Thank you u/kiabe1
Edit 2: After two weeks in the NICU, we have convinced the doctors to let us upgraded to the wireless home version. Thank you all for your well wishes and jokes.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 09 2021
Well in that case
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who donβt.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 17 2022
SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Jan 15 2022
Why don't compasses work in Germany?
Because all the Poles are in the East!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 30 2021
Shouldn't a Hershey bar with nuts in it . . .
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Dec 20 2021
How do you measure the magnitude of the pun in a dad joke?
With a sighsmograph
Edit: Wow, you guys, Thank-you the the awards and upvotes. If only my family appreciated this joke as much as you do!
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
What do you call a cop in bed? (Lord help me)
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Dec 08 2021
Why do teachers fart in class?
Because they arenβt private tutors.
One of my students shared that with me yesterday and it made me smile because I had just crop dusted the back of the room.
Itβs my cake day. Be nice.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 23 2021
My friend in Germany says that there has been panic buying of sausages and cheese . . .
It's the Wurst KΓ€se scenario
Credit: Twitter, Bruce Lawson (@brucel)
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Dec 04 2021
What does the βA&Wβ in A&W Restaurant stand for?
π︎ 782
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
My grandfather, who was in the army, once told me, β1940, I met my first love. 1946, my second. 1950, I met the woman of my dreams.β
βIt was quite a hectic evening.β
π︎ 551
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
A pigeon landed on the pitch in the Portugal Vs Germany game
It was a good thing they didn't pass to the pigeon.
Otherwise it would have been fowl play.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 19 2021
What's the least spoken language in the world?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 20 2021
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years, but they're having a really hard time...
...putting their case together.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 30 2021
In Egypt, they have discovered a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
They think it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 02 2022
A cannibal in Northern Germany is arrested while grilling beef patties.
He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.
π︎ 153
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
Then I said: "Turn left here."
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
I was working in a factory making plastic Draculas for Halloween.
There was only 2 of us on the production line so I had to make every second count
π︎ 867
π
︎ Jan 14 2022
How many germs are there in Germany ?
π︎ 516
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
I hate sausages made in Germany.
They're just the Wurst...
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
