.nyc Puns

I’ll call it Medicine Square Garden.

He immediately said, “Well, I wouldn’t eat them.”

Kid2: no, my parents are straight.

People were outside lined up for blocks.

Five burros.

This was maybe two weeks ago. I'm riding the subway to work when this young girl, maybe 6 or 7, looks up at her dad and says, “Daddy, what time is?”

She then hastily and very seriously adds, “And don't say ‘Party time’!”

It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. Nice job, dad.

Dad: well, it's obvious - she was well trained

A lady to our right asked us to roll our window down to ask us where second street was. My dad replies, "next to first street!" and then rolls up his window.

Dad just emailed this to me.

Do you know what he did the night before he showed symptoms?

He was E-Bowling!! LOL!!!

They woke him up.

http://imgur.com/xkgVey6

In one particular scene he’s strolling down a busy street in NYC and a taxi almost hits him. He slams the hood of the taxi and yells

Hey I’m Joaquin here!

For instance, it takes about 3 hours to fly to NYC to Miami.

And a lifetime ban from the NYC zoo..

Several years ago, a bunch of college friends were visiting me in NY during Columbus Day weekend. My parents offer to drive us into NYC, and on the way my father points out a huge cemetery. "Hey, do you know who's buried there?" My father asked. "Who?" We all asked excitedly. "Dead people." Cue collective groans and "God damnit..."

I'm a construction worker in NYC. At my current job site we're working on a new super tall building, the second tallest in the city. Attached to the building is a temporary construction elevator for moving people and materials up to the upper floors.

So I get in the elevator and it's only me and the operator. We chit chat for the ride up and I ask "So what's it like being an elevator operator for this building?"

He replies "Oh you know, it has its ups and downs"

In hindsight I think I walked right into that one.

She wanted to see How To Be Single. The main character is a paralegal. She moves into a nice apartment in NYC. GF leans over.

Her:how can she afford that. She's just a paralegal. Me:she probably makes more than one legal.

Groans and eye rolls to follow.

A little back story: I drove to NYC a few years ago when I was 19 and ended up getting my car towed because I was illegally parked. Ever since then, I've been wary about possibly parking illegally. Today, I met up with my girlfriend at a museum and then left my car in the museum parking lot when we went to go see a movie. I was worried about my car possibly being towed so I texted my mom asking her what she thought.

http://imgur.com/SQLRUA2

Street comedian in NYC walks up to my dad and says, "Excuse me sir, I think you dropped your bag of cocaine." Dad responds, "Nah, I've got my coke right here," while holding up his bottle of Coke.

My dad on the recent train crash in NYC:

"Have you heard anything else about this train crash?"

"No, have have you?"

"Well now they're saying that they think the conductor lost his train of thought."

He said he got to speak at a large church in NYC. I said wow, that's great what did you say? He said "excuse me, where is the restroom?"

So I was at the 9/11 Memorial in NYC with my dad visiting for the first time. We were waiting in line to walk through the metal detectors, start to take the metal out of our pockets etc etc, and all of a sudden we hear the lady letting people through say to some guy already going through a detector with his jacket on (which wasn't supposed to be on) yell quite prodominately "Sir, jacket off!"

Dad promptly teared up and died of laughter.