Y Not Festival Puns

- Did you hear Thor's brother performed at the drag festival?
- No, I did not. How was it?
- It was pretty low-key.

Girlfriend: "Did you know there's a mime festival happening here soon?"

Me: "No, I didn't hear about it."

I did not get a kiss for that.

(There really is a mime festival happening soon http://www.partyearth.com/london/festivals/london-international-mime-festival-1-1/)

We were driving through town and the annual festival was going on.

Fiancee: Corn Fest is back to being down town? What happened to it being at the airport?

Me: Not that many people went when it was held at the airport. I guess you could say, it never really took off.

I got the biggest groan and eyeroll ever.

I just came back from a holiday back to the UK to visit friends and family (am an expat).

While we were there we went to a nice community festival, with some great beers. An American friend of a friend proudly proclaimed that he’d bought a pint of red stout.

Looking up at the board, and seeing the name of the beer, my eyes lit up: a golden opportunity had just presented itself.

‘Nah mate, that’s not red stout, it’s called Red Stoat. You do know what a stoat is, right?

[confusion]

‘Well, it’s a little rodent, a bit like a weasel. You know how you can tell the difference between a stoat and a weasel?’

‘Er..’

‘Well’, I says, ‘a weasel is weasily identifiable, and a stoat is stoatally different.’

Cue a puzzled look on the guys face, and a moment’s silence, broken by me and my friend pissing ourselves laughing, not at the joke of course, but at his reaction.

So this was all very well and good, just another in the litany of bad jokes that floats in my wake, and I thought the story ended there.

Karma, however, had other plans…

A few days later, we’re up in the Lake District, walking back to the hotel after a pub dinner. As we’re walking down the road, we see a small carnivorous rodent dragging the recently deceased body of a rabbit back to its home. It was either a stoat, or a weasel, but you know what? I honestly had no way to tell which…

it was at a festival.

Me: Are you going to try the curry?

Friend: Not sure.

Me: Ah, go on [goan].

Then later, we were talking abotuthe curries again at the end of the day.

Friend: What's this about the curry people?

Friend: Are they goan?

Me: No, I think they're here for the duration.