World News Puns

Eyewitness reports state that the ship hit the flan.

Olympic finalist in the new event Camping Aquipment Setup quits and forfeits 1st place, 'It was just two tents.'

“Trump’s Not Down For the Count”

Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.

That is all.

They will be so disappointed when the finale is not a cliffhanger.

But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.

And as his secretary says...

No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.

I gotta ask “WHO?”

There used to be two, but now they are just a sensitive topic.

Also: The real 9/11 pays respect! The world remembers 9/11.

This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

Joke by Terry Pratchett, ‘The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.

Go outside and ride your bike

Friend: Wow! What kind is it?

Old man: quarter past 2.

There was a military coo

something

WHO?

The Wuhan Clan

“Ribbit.”

With friends like these who needs animes.

Its called Mimecraft

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognized none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it," he says, "I am the worlds leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I really am terribly sorry," says the young assistant, "I've just realised I was playing you the bee side!"

The Hallouminati.

Listening to the BBC coverage when the presenter said it was time to see Who Won What. I told my son and wife "Ah yes, the promising young Chinese athlete". The groaning is my victory!!

In fact, on average, we have about five remotes per household.