There’s no F in way.
it's what it's
Me: "Hmm, I wish I could pull off her short hair, I never could"
Him: "Aw, I'm sure you could. I'll hold her down while you yank it out"
Didn't see that coming.
Edit: thanks guys I didn't realise fiance/e has genders.
He was prepping his GRE and I noticed he had a book on word comparisons and grammar, pretty much like those SAT questions in the verbal section. My response after he commented on how reading it has improved his language skills:
"My vocabulary is awful, for lack of a better word."
The resulting groan was glorious.
I think they picked on the other words in grammar school.
So I asked a friend to bid a little bit on stuff I have on ebay. He didn't have much time and asked me for a favour instead, so I did that for him with the concluding words: "And now you do my bidding."
I patted myself on the shoulder after that.
Edit: Grammar.
So I'm at a friend's house and his parents are there. He introduces me and then his dad takes over.
-- Hi just_another_juan I'm Luis, and this is my wife. Most people call her Veronica but I usually call her on the phone.
EDIT: Grammar; extra word.
Me: Dad can I have Chips?
Dad: I don't know, can you?
Me: (Calling on the phone) Hi Dad, can I talk to Mom?
Dad: I don't know, can you?
Me: Dad, can you pass me the salt.
Dad: Yes, yes I can. (Continues eating his dinner, doesn't pass the salt)
I never really thought of this as a Dad joke, I always just thought my dad was being an a** or trying to teach me better grammar, but he always laughed when he said it so i guess this was his ongoing Dad Joke.
This went on and on to the point where I had to remove the word Can from my vocabulary.
So there's a girl, who just graduated from High School as an honors student but just a few A's away from making Valedictorian. After her graduation, her father walks up to her and says "you've let me down."
The girl goes to medical school. Once again, she graduates near the top of her class but isn't the top of her class. The father walks up to her and says "you've let me down."
The girl was nominated for a big promotion in her hospital but was just a few marks away from securing it. Her father walks up to her and says "you've let me down."
Years pass. The woman has grown to hate her father. One day, she receives a letter saying her father had passed away. Forgetting all of her hate, she gets on the next flight to her mother's home.
As soon as she arrives, her mother hands her a letter detailing one final request from her father.
"At my funeral, I would like to have my daughter lower my body into my grave so she can let me down one more time."
EDIT: Grammar, wording, etc.
