What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please donโt resort to violins and anger if you donโt notice.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
What should you use with Batman shampoo?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you call a bear with no ear?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Hey Dad, you wanna come to Yoga class with me?
Dad: Namaste home instead
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︎ Dec 28 2020
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen......
What do you call a woman with two legs?
Noleen
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What do you call peanuts with guns?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
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︎ Aug 18 2020
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Doesn't matter it won't come
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︎ Jan 05 2021
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, โDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?โ In my best bear voice, I replied...
โNo thanks, Iโm stuffed!"
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︎ Dec 26 2020
What do you call a greek plumber with no ears?
It doesn't matter he won't hear you
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Did you hear about the woman with twelve breasts?
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︎ Dec 28 2020
What starts with 'O' and ends with 'nions' and sometimes make you cry?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a Rino?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesnโt matter they wonโt come anyway.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What do you call a snowman with a 6 pack?
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︎ Dec 13 2020
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Dad can I wash the car with you ?
I dunno son, I prefer you use a sponge
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What do you do with a dead chemist?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What do you call a cow with no legs?
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Did you hear about the guy that walked into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm?
He asked the bartender for a beer, and one for the road.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
If you are offended by my dad jokes, donโt get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Whats with the saying "that's how you get ahead in life"?
I was already born with one.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
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︎ Nov 30 2020
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
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︎ Jan 02 2021
What do you call a guy with an ant on his knee?
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︎ Dec 27 2020
What do you call a summer camp that helps people with ADHD?
A concentration camp.
I'll see myself out.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What do you call a fish with four eyes?
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︎ Dec 12 2020
What do you call a man obsessed with the moon?
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Take it easy people. Pretty soon you'll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love.
But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Did you hear about the soldier who got hit with mustard gas and pepper spray?
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︎ Nov 28 2020
What do you call a person with no body and no nose?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
What do you call bears with no ears?
B
Edit: Thank you for hugz!
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︎ Nov 10 2020
What do you call an insect that's in trouble with the law?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Where would you go to get maple sushi with poutine dipping sauce?
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, โCan you describe the symptoms?โ I replied, "Sure..."
โTheyโre yellow, Homerโs fat, and Marge has blue hair.โ
๐︎ 17k
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake!
Its cake and y'all know the rules!
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
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︎ Oct 17 2020
What do you call an artist with brown fingers ?
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︎ Dec 11 2020
If a doctor fixes you up with duct tapeโฆ
He'll have turned you from being black and blue into being Red Green.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him..
He wont come anyways
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︎ Dec 22 2020
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
๐︎ 38
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︎ Dec 08 2020
What do you call a pig with 3 eyes?
๐︎ 50
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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