A list of puns related to "Water Tight"
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
...so he called in his court wizard to devise a means of defense. The wizard set to work at once. First, he wove a net, tightly so that nothing could escape. Then he traveled to the nearby lake.
For three days, he went to the edge of a dock, and cast his net into the water. Each time, he collected many small fish, until he had gathered thousands.
He then took the fish to his study, and carefully processed them, crushing them into a sticky paste. Warming the paste, he began to lather it across the walls of the maze.
When the king learned of this, he was very angry.
"How dare you cover my walls with fish paste!" he said.
The wizard replied, "But sire, everyone knows to protect a labyrinth, one must use a minnow tar."
Water-tight bundles of untraceable drug-dealer cash.
Lost somewhere on the beach between West Palm Beach and Nag's Head, NC.
Also, loose pirate treasure of gold or silver.
Sentimental value. Small reward offered.
The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.
I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.
I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.
Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.
Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.
Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.
I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.
The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.
The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.
The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.
The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.
The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.
The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.
Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.
The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.
Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
“Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope.”
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
“Son I’m changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes.”
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He’s cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
“Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters.”
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
“Hey there,” says the recruit. “is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven’t kept one position for more than 15 minutes!”
The crewman says “Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts.”
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