A list of puns related to "Walk Off Home Run"
He’ll come around eventually.
I said "So it's a well gnome garden".
I laughed harder than he did.
I looked back and I was being followed by a coffin. I sped up and so did the coffin. When I couldn't run anymore I searched my pockets for anything to help. I found a few Hall's mentholyptus that I threw at it!! Coffin stopped.
Because he had no body!
Tomorrow is joke day at school for my kindergartner so I went to tell my daughter a joke to tell. Tells me she already had one and tells me this! Lol proud dad..
People are dying to go there.
A lady came up to me and said 'Aren't you going to stop them?'
I said 'No. That's not my stile.'
...and it’s a 30 minute walk from that pub back home.
The difference is staggering.
Running out of gas
The bartender looks at him and says, “You must be here for a cognac.”
My daughter said yes, and I replied, “So you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”
I call it, "phoning it in."
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
“That’s not very mature!”
He was delighted
I have been informed he was a-salted.
Bump…
Bump…
Bump…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.
Faster…
Faster…
FASTER…
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!
And…
The coffin stops….
An airgasm.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
...she said "you love those dogs more than me".
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
The difference is staggering.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
They're cutting right into my hips.
She would just Anne Boleyn.
All I said was "there's snow jobs available."
Let that sink in…
When a chap in a van pulls up gets out and says there is a new leather sette and a leather chair in the van you can have it free of charge.
We decided to take it to our house. I told my dad expecting him to be pleased. Instead he came over and clipped my ear with the back of his hand.
Crying i said what was that for. My dad said How many times do i have to tell you. DONT TAKE SUITES OFF STRANGERS!
There was a lot of literature house.
...and then the coffin stopped.
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
I said, you could've saved a $20 by not taking a cab instead
The noise was unbearable.
Intermittent fasting
“Excuse me, could you help me?” I asked.
He grunted in response, barely looking at me.
“Um, I’m looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? I’m trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.”
He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, “Do we look like a pet store?” And he turned around and walked away.
I took a fence.
The results are staggering.
and was delighted when he discovered every lamp in his home had been stolen.
He'll come around eventually
He’ll come around, eventually.
The difference is staggering.
The difference is staggering.
Let that sink in.
Running out of gas
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my home.
The difference is staggering.
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