Walhalla Memorial Puns

Walhalla memorial has been popular concept for some time, a hall of fame of dedicated to important personalities of the German tongue in München, conceived at the time of the Napoleonic wars when German leaders were pitted against each other by His Majesty, Ludwig I of Bavaria when he was still a Crown Prince. It's conception was that of an imagination, of the promotion of unity and that of a reminder of the common German heritage. The construction of the memorial began in 1920 but it has again acquired attention by His Majesty as Austria and Prussia are once again at the verge of war. With this in mind, His Majesty Ludwig I of Bavaria has decided to allocated additional funds to the memorial project working under the direction of the chief architect Leo von Klenze. His Majesty has further instructed that the Walhalla be prepared for opening by the end of next year with the 14 remaining additional busts of figures being sped up in their construction.

Furthermore, His Majesty has declared he would be officially inaugurating the memorial while the construction still takes places as a reminder to both the King of Prussia and the Emperor of Austria of the stakes in their struggles, of that of the German people's struggle and to regather momentum of the nationalistic movement of the German people. Upon inauguration, the memorial will be open for visitations to the completed parts of it at certain periods of the day, at peak hours a small toll be even be imposed by the commission authority such that the visitations do not exceed the capacity at any time. His Majesty has also informed that the construction of the project is to be kept as a priority and no hindrances for it should occur during and after the inauguration.

Currently the Walhalla Memorial named after the Walhalla of the norse mythology contains 82 completed busts and 64 completed plaques, the latter that of figures of whom no reliable model could be found. The memorial has been declared to be not just for military figures as the name would suggest but that dedicated to all important personalities of the German tongue with importance given to scientists, artists and civilian persons of note including both men and women. The project is been a prime interest and initiative of His Majesty Ludwig I. of Bavaria and is thus modeled in appearance to the ancient Pantheons of Athens as His Majesty had been enchanted by the Greek arts.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

https://preview.redd.it/y89dokp29ku71.jpg?width=1089&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a99f834c5b1e7969a79086ff3df112ec766963b9

Following the results of “Armin van Buuren’s All-Time A State Of Trance Top 1000 List,” I was quite pleased… yeah that list sucked lmao. So I decided to say “screw that” and ended up making my own list (albeit a lot shorter) over the course of multiple months. In that time period, I gave a lot of thought and did some research on the tracks that are on this list. I obviously made some rules as to the criteria that each track had to fall under in order to be included here: they all had to be trance or somewhat related to it (so no “Smooth Criminal,” “Boys Of Summer,” “Try It Out,” “Everlong,” or “In The End” even if they are some of my all-time favorite songs) and they must have had a somewhat proper release (so no “Vanity Angel” or “Disaster Strikes.”) Now, with that out of the way, here is my list and I hope you all enjoy it:

50. Ferry Corsten - A World Beyond (2017): I begin with a song from the modern era of trance that is surprisingly pretty good. At 126 BPM, this is one of the slowest songs included on my top 50. However, what it lacks in speed and energy, it more than makes up for in tranquility and focus which makes it the ideal song for studying. (I rarely study lol)

51. Gouryella - Walhalla (1999): Here is another Corsten song, this time as a collaboration with Tiësto. With its really playful and happy melody, it reminds me a lot of my grandfather. The vocal version is too cheesy for me so I always stick with the instrumental.

52. [009 Sound System - Dreamscape (2007)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xa3lfd0ukk&ab_chann

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

Do your worst!

Pilot on me!!

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "