V Chip Puns

He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

A bargaining chip.

I asked two friends for the best pun Bond would utter if he'd just shoved a bad guy into a huge industrial deep-fat fryer. Their responses were:

Friend #1: "Play with fryer, get burnt.
(Isn't there an old saying of don't play with fire unless you want to get burnt?)"

Friend #2: "Why is my instinct to say cool off there?
Let's assume it's christmas. 'Thats a real Crisped Kringle' is what I'd say
Or do I know the guy's dad? Let's say I do. 'Youre a chip of the old block'"

I know, I need new friends. Do me a favour redditors and please tell me whose pun is least awful? And if you have any better ones, I'm all ears! (Mine was "Thank God it's fry day", I'm sure you can all do better).

They’re the chip monks.

'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.

'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.

Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.

Did You Know…

In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.

This is done by the chip monks.

She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldn’t smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.

Chip off the old block she is!

Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!

Every bag of chips, is family sized.

With a batter-ing ram to do it all at once, or you can chocolate chip away at it for a long time.

With computer chips.

A champion chip.

Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.

Plane chips!

A ChampionChip

It had a chip on its shoulder.

When everybody Lay’s their chips on the table.

At the end of the weekend there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.

He’s the Chip Monk.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

and then I bought a bag of chips

When my wife came home yesterday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but eat chips and watch TV all afternoon.

She shook her finger at me, "You better watch this lazy attitude you've had lately, mister, or you're gonna to make me do something I'll regret!"

"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a bj out of this."

A rocket chip!

He just has a chip on his shoulder.

A Chip-monk 🐿

While wandering around he bumps into a old man in robes cooking.

With a grin the drunk man asks “Are you the fish friar?”

“No brother” he replied “I’m the chip monk”

BBQ’d chips

Fission chips

A kid says to his dad: "Hey dad what flavor are those chips you are eating?"

Dad: "My chips!"

Kid: "OK. But, what flavor are those chips?"

Dad: "My chips!"

Kid: "Seriously dad, what flavor are those chips?"

Dad reaches down, grabs the bag of chips, holds them up, points at the label and says: "I said they were my chips. See it says clearly on the bag Nachos."

Because my chips are so good.

I replied "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."

EDIT: "Now he's asking me for a byte of cookies... "

Soft drinks, potato chips, chocolate cookies and candy

So the other day I won a game of blackjack and the dealer said "Congratulations, you won 1000 chips!" I replied "Awesome! What flavor?"

"Would you like anything on your chips?"

"Does it cost extra?"

"Ten pence."

"All right, I'll have four sausages and a steak pie."

I said, I don’t need that, I’m CHIPPING away at it.

Phish and chips

The chips tasted of plastic.

Fission chips.

Chip

A Canadian man and a Mexican man were sitting down eating some Mexican cuisine. Fajitas, tacos, burritos, and tortilla chips with queso.

The Canadian man goes to dip his chips into the queso when he notices it's all gone.

C: Dude, you ate all of the cheese!

M: K.....So?

CHIPS and dip 🙌

Me (hiding a bag of tortilla chips): There's been a misunderstanding.

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".

The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted

A rocket chip

and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar'?" He replied "No, I'm the chip monk"

As I walked past the kitchen, I saw a man frying chips. I asked him if he was the friar. He replied "No, I'm the chip monk."

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.

I asked him "Are you the friar?"

He replied "No, i'm the chip monk."