Never criticize someone until youβve walked a mile in their shoes.
That way you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
π︎ 276
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth
Then it becomes a soap opera
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Catholic priests were forbidden from learning math until the 20th century
Before that it was a cardinal Sin
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he canβt even look at himself in the mirror.
π︎ 258
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
I enjoyed hiking up mountains, until I arrived at the top.
From there, it's all downhill.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
Wife: Iβm exhausted. I was up until 4 AM with the baby.
Me: Itβs probably not a good idea to keep a baby up that late.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
362 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
How do you keep water in a hole in the ground until you need it?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Not long until you get RAMβd
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
PS5 until we get PS5!
π︎ 37
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
π︎ 222
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
What is president elect Joseph Robinette Biden going to do until January 20th?
Heβll be Biden his time!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
A man is incomplete until heβs married.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Donβt knock it until you diet
π︎ 23
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Everything was fine until I got a universal remote
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.
It was a real paradigm shift.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I pestered my wife all evening with nonstop corny wordplay jokes until I got βthe lookβ...
I may have encountered some punintended consequences.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
A Catholic priest will always be a Catholic until he goes on a pilgrimage....
...then He becomes a Roamin' Catholic
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
This guy just approached me and wonβt leave me alone until I solve a trigonometry problem.
I donβt know what his angle is.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
With on 75 days until Biden takes oath...
We'll have a lame Donald Duck period.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
I canβt wait until hindsight....
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
My job interview for the Navy was going well, until they asked if I could swim
To be honest, I thought theyβd have boats.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
These days everyone seems to be going for progressiveness until it comes to something they really care about.
& hence I don't care 'bout anything.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Sep 28 2019
Just wait until you aunt marries Robert,
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting
/r/Jokes/comments/iya4l4/β¦
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Donβt wok away from me!"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
During my first month on the road paving crew, they always gave me all the worst jobs. I endured all of it, up until they put me on paint duty...
...that's where I finally had to draw the line.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Need your best rock/stone based puns
I play dnd and my bard is very annoyed, that our party's druid, who is an earth genasi (appearance was described as a living statue)) won't give anyone his name.
So my bard will only address them with rock based puns until they properly introduce themselves.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...
"I'm measuring your patience!"
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Aug 24 2019
Wait until he hears about the doors.
π︎ 191
π
︎ Feb 27 2020
Just wait until you hit the drop
π︎ 223
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
Why didnt Captain America lift Thorβs hammer untill he needed to?
He didnβt want to steal his thunder
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
I was having a good day until I stopped to pet a duck in the park....
Now I'm feeling a little down.
π︎ 47
π
︎ May 15 2020
I didn't appreciate reincarnation until I got hit by that truck...
And woke up feeling like a whole new man
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
Stoners are lighter, cause only balloons get high
Each time you light with a lighter, the lighter gets lighter untill the light so light that it will not light
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
I recently received a book with βdo not read until the year 2030β written on the cover
But thatβs a story for another time
π︎ 63
π
︎ May 16 2020
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he canβt even look at himself in the mirror.
π︎ 117
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he canβt even look at himself in the mirror.
π︎ 726
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he canβt even look at himself in the mirror.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
Some guy just approached me and refused to leave until I solve a trigonometry problem.
I have no idea what his angle is.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
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