A list of puns related to "Unknowableness"
So I was complaining about where I am in life and the path I have chosen she said
"Don't try to blame someone else for the road your on ....its your own asphalt"
Me: We need to put on our jackets because it's a little cold outside today.
Son after stepping outside: No Dad, it's a big cold
I had just got my hair cut nice and short and been dropped around at my mate's house by mum. As i walk in: Mate's Dad: Hey bonya, who did ya hair cut? Me: (slightly confused) My hair didn't cut anybody...
We were watching TV when she said her back was sore and the conversation went like this:
Her: My back is bothering me a little.
Me: Do you want an aleve?
Her: I mean I guess if you don't want me to stay.....
I was confused for a second till I realized what she thought I said.
talking to the Amazon echo
Me: Alexia play eminem
Son: Alexa stop! Daddy tell it to play skittles
Me: Do you mean skrillex?
Son: No skittles
Me: Buddy I don't know of a band called that
Son: Then why is there a band called Eminem???
Me: banging an ice cube tray on the kitchen counter to get the ice out
Dad: Who's making all that racket?
Me: Me, I'm trying to break the ice
Dad: Why, is nobody talking to you? Ahahaaaaaaa.
Dad goes back to eBay
I unknowingly sat on a pile of cheezits on Saturday at my cousin's graduation. When I stood up to wipe my butt off, I discovered my error and loudly exclaimed, "Oh, no wonder I was feeling so crumby." My whole family groaned, but this one woman sitting behind me laughed and said, "Good one!"
It was a proud moment for me.
Just happened.
Spacing my ears, and finally got to the last part of it. Unknowingly, I muttered to myself: "c'mon, final stretch now."
I'll show myself out.
So this morning on my way to work I stopped at a Walgreens to grab some snacks and drinks. (For those unknowing, it's a pharmacy/grocery) I recently quit smoking and found the snacking helps on cravings.
Anyhow, the clerk rings me up and says my total: "$7.11." Without even thinking it I blurt out "It's not a seven-eleven. It's a Walgreens."
Suddenly terrified that I am apparently a dad, I grabbed my stuff and left, the haunting echoes of laughter behind me.
I was registering a vehicle to my name that I bought off a guy who had a lean out on it. The credit union who was holding the title took forever and a day to send it my way. Well in California, you need to transfer the vehicle in under five days of the purchase. Unknowingly, I waltz into the joint expecting a boom bam thank you ma'am process. Low and behold the clerk says I owe a hundred and some odd bucks for being late, but I explained her the situation and since it was not my fault she flopped the form to waive this fee.
I saw my opportunity and I pounced...
"So this is the....Tidal Wave?"
I get a blank stare for a solid ten seconds and she slaps down another form saying that I owe 500 dollars in taxes. Good ol' California DMV.
Earlier today I got a phone call from a Walmart pharmacy. They were looking a Juan something. I said "Sorry, you have the wrong number." She replied and unknowingly set herself up by asking "No Juan?" I quickly replied, "No, there's no Juan here." There was a brief silence, she gave little giggle and said goodbye.
I unknowingly dadjoked a store worker years ago when I didn't know English well. I asked her to help me find some pants and she asked if I was a junior, to which I said "no actually I'm a sophomore" (referring to my grade level in high school). She looked at me puzzled.
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