It can also be called mobile crisis units
π︎ 247
π
︎ May 20 2021
How much does the entire United States cost?
Nothing, because it's a free country
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 25 2021
What unit of measure do pirates use?
π︎ 347
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
Watt is the unit of power?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
How do you call an army unit of babies?
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 26 2021
My 8 year old sons joke today. Whatβs a girls favorite unit of measurement?
π︎ 92
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 21 2021
Why did the Koala immigrate to the United States?
Because he wanted the right to bear arms.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 22 2021
What do you call a detective dog's party held in the United Arab Emirates?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 04 2021
What do you call a bee that is from the United States
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
π︎ 54
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
I'm not usually secretive when it comes to base units.
But there is one that makes me KG.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
United States of BEE
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
I went to a supermarket in the United Arab Emirates, but all the shelves were empty.
There was literally nothing Dubai.
π︎ 60
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
What's the opposite of Manchester United?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
I told my kid we were gonna watch Paw Patrol, but instead I just showed him footage of K9 units training.
Guess that makes me a papa troll.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
How does United Airlines treat their passengers?
π︎ 58
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
What would happen if America switched from using pounds to kilograms as a unit a measure?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I have an ant infestation in my fridge and air-conditioning units!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Why is it spelled "Color" in the US but "Colour" in Britain?
Because after the revolutionary war, the freed United States told Britain defiantly, "We're getting rid of you".
π︎ 57
π
︎ May 03 2021
My AC unit is quacking...
I think it's the air ducts
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
If I had a son I'd name him Kelvin.
Because kelvin is an absolute unit
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 20 2021
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were down on their luck.
They took one of their prized possessionsβThe Star of The Empire, one of the worlds largest diamondsβto a famous yet discreet pawn shop outside of Las Vegas to ask for a loan.
The pawnbroker said "So I talked to my buddy who is an expert in diamonds to get his opinion. I can give you $200,000 for it."
Prince Harry said "You must be joking, I had this appraised at nearly 2 million pounds! Don't you know who I am, I'm a prince! My mother is Queen of The United Kingdom, Elizabeth II!!"
The pawnbroker said "$200k, take it or leave it. When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are..."
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 12 2021
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
Ahh yes... Frants
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Itβs the lighter fluid
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
Dude 1: βHey bro?β Dude 2: βYeah bro?β Dude 1: βCan you hand me that pamphlet?β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
The United States Postal Service got jokes
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
My cousin died when an A/C unit fell on him.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
Today is PI day, which always makes me hungry for pie
Now a slice of pie in the United States will set you back $5
But in the Bahamas and Aruba you can buy that same slice of pie for just $1
Yep. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
|unit|
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
What would happen if the USA switched from Pounds to Kilograms?
There would be mass confusion
π︎ 946
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Whatβs a monkβs favorite unit of measurement?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
