Someone actually said to me the other day, "but, you know- you're not like them." (aka trans women)
Fuck off, I am like "them". "Them" and I come as a package deal. The fact that you find me cute and harmless doesn't change that I have a sense of empathy and solidarity with trans women that you clearly can't conceive of. (And you'd probably change your tune about me if you knew how many I've fooled around with, simply because we understand each other in ways a cis partner can't).
Transmisogyny makes me cringe every single time, and I immediately see people who engage in it as deeply ignorant at best. It eats at me for hours and drastically lowers my opinion of whoever said it. As for trans guys who do go along with it- that's a whole five page rant and I have other shit to do this morning.
Trans masculine or survivor pick one... Sorry sweaty I just can't care about your experiences of conversion therapy or corrective rape or being harassed ostracised and targeted for being trans unless I imagine you're a woman and this is your fault for not just staying as a lovable feminine valuable woman because men are less human than women who are inherently spiritually more empathetic..
Also reminder sweaty people who hate you don't see you as a real man, just a failed woman or a half man so you can't possibly be hated for "being a trans man / trans masculine" society loooves "masculine women" who never get bullied or abused or excluded you had it easy before you transitioned and you've got it even easier now
Nobody fear mongers about a whole generation being "transed out of their feminine duty and beauty" and those experiences that trans people like you have arent distinctive or different to misogyny or transmisogyny in any way and you aren't allowed to use words to describe your experience in a way that claims manhood because that's stealing from trans women who aren't men and basically means you're an MRA TERF who is arguing that trans women have privelge or that cis men are widely hated and discriminated against for being men. Nuance isn't allowed when it comes to men you're all the enemy none of you could possibly understand oppression
Basically what we need you to do for the movement is to shut up unless you're performarively self flagellating for being cursed by being a trans person who is masculine and minimising your own trauma because only women need protection from discrimination or violence you silly manlets! You should have known that you were transitioning to be cannon fodder now stop crying boys don't cry
Uj/ i am so tired
Obviously with her permission I just want to know if this is my story to tell, or does it not matter as long as I get her permission? I'll be telling her story specifically, not the story of trans people or the story of some unnamed trans person I made up I don't want to overstep, that's why I ask
Hi folks. I dunno if maybe this belongs in a more explicitly "trans"-oriented sub, but I think I feel cozier here, so hopefully it's okay.
Reading this piece called "We Need to Talk about Transmisogyny" (https://purecatharsis.medium.com/we-need-to-talk-about-transmisogyny-6bdf0e79d29c) by Cat Harsis, and I came across this section:
"Being affect[ed] by transmisogyny is a wild trip where we’re constantly faced with the most ridiculous of contradictions. Moving away from the “man” gender role will make us more [strongly suspected] of all the negative things associated with (cis) men. We’re under the constant pressure to “prove” that we’re not men. Even people with no interest in feminism will suddenly become aware of all the ways in which men pose a problem to everyone else, but project that only on us. ... Everything about us that could be associated with men will be used as proof of our “deception” and that we really are the most dangerous of men.
That means first and foremost that we’re denied vulnerability and softness, anything that would frame us as feeling beings, rather than deceiving monsters. ... this means being ever watchful of what [we] say or do and deny [our]selves interests, expressions and emotions that could be read as “male”. Each of them is an indictment and justification to treat us as morally and sexually deviant men.
.... Even within the queer community it is very easy to gain social kapital by framing us as aggressive and dangerous one way or another. Even when there is absolutely no truth to it, it will stick.”
Reading this scares me.
I have spent my entire life so far - decades - struggling with, fighting against, and otherwise trying to navigate and negotiate these positive and negative ideas of "how to be a good man" and what kind of man to be, and how to avoid being the wrong kind of man... It's exhausting, and draining, and I don't want to have to spend the rest of my life still having that same struggle.
I don't want to be seen as a man, associated with, judged against, or otherwise wrapped up in all the myriad complex positive and negative expectations and ideals and stereotypes that surround societal ideas about manliness or masculinity, or simply being male / a man.
I want people to look at me and see a person who has hopes and flaws, goals and strengths, interests and feelings. A person who has vulnerabili
... keep reading on reddit ➡From what I’ve heard, it’s misogyny exclusive to trans women/ transfems, the degradation of their femininity.
But don’t all trans people experience an intersection of misogyny?
Trans men have lived as women/girls at some point, and transphobes will still see trans men as women.
Trans men fight for control over their bodies due to misogyny, and about every “progressive” advocacy focuses on trans mens periods and pregnancies. It’s really gross.
If it’s about the rejection of masculinity, I have to argue that not only trans women face this form of misogyny. GNC men are also targeted. As a GNC trans man, I get harassed and threatened with violence for my femininity. I’m not sure where I would fall here. I really feel that GNC people are left out.
If someone could give me some clarity it would be appreciated.
If you looked into the transgender discourse, you might've come across this phrase before. It always rubbed me off in a wrong way. I understand that maybe sometimes, this statement can be true depending on the context, but overall, it just seems like arguments from feminists trying to "debunk" that there is no such thing as misandry, even for transmen.
I've gotten into a discussion with a feminist about transmisandry a while ago, and they basically overlooked it saying that "transmisogyny is probably what they are facing." It's almost like they purposely undervalue men's issues just so it fits their feminist worldview.
When a transwoman is told "You're not a real woman." That is seen as transphobic and transmisogyny. Progressives recognize that transwomen are women, and therefore being bigoted against them because of their gender is transmisogyny as a result.
However, when transmen are told "You're not a real man." It is somehow still transmisogyny because the person saying it is misogynist and therefore the transphobia towards the man is related to misogyny and not misandry for some reason? Isn't this also a form of transphobia, because you want to focus on the bigot's intended motives, and choose to ignore the fact that the transman just faced a transphobic attack?
What do you guys think? Is it just an uncommon personal anecdote or is this a widespread phenomenon?
TLDR: I'm asking which you've found worse - homophobia from the straights pre-transition or transphobia from the cis since starting to transition. If you're in the mood for an essay, my thoughts on the subject are below. Content warning for homophobia & transphobia (obviously).
Transfemme enby here - I'm now pan but pre-transition I lived as a gay guy from ages 12 to 36.
I'm old enough to remember the tail end of the AIDS crisis; I remember my route to school took me by a row of posters someone had put up saying "homosexuality is a disease - AIDS is the cure". I also remember endless HIV jokes, lots of religious BS & a man beside me on a bus one time talking about how the gays needed to be burned alive (to be clear, he didn't clock me as gay - it was a general rant, not a threat directed at me).
I remember all that & I still find much of the transphobia today scarier. There are some similarities - the visceral disgust people express towards transfeminine bodies definitely reminds me of straight guys being icked out by the concept of anal sex - but also big differences.
Back in the day, there was a finite list of respectable platforms (public radio, TV news, broadsheet newspapers) & a limited spectrum of sane things you could say on them. That spectrum went from "the gays are fine, let's leave them alone", to "the gays are mentally sick & their behaviour is hurting themselves"; it did not include "the gays are preying on little boys & we need to take action to stop them". That view existed, & still does, but you couldn't say it in public & be taken seriously (at least not where I live - obviously it varied from country to country).
But much of the "gender debate" today, even in supposedly liberal newspapers & taxpayer-funded broadcasters, really is about whether trans women are a threat to cis women & children, sometimes in disguised/polite language, sometimes explicitly. For one thing, those kind of sentiments are objectively more dangerous, in terms of likelihood of inspiring violence (even the BBC admitted that transphobic hate crimes in the UK jumped 300% in the five years to 2020, though of course they took no responsibility for their part in inciting that &, since then, they've got dramatically worse). Apart from that, it's just inherently more hurtful. As a ga
... keep reading on reddit ➡because honestly, nothing makes me feel more like a woman than being treated like trash
I'm specifically speaking trans women to trans women. If you don't have a perfectly feminine look then you need to do more is so toxic. Like these standards hurt the majority of people and just contributes to dysphoria if you can't look like a snap filter. It's bad enough that it's an extension of the misogyny all women face, but to see it in the community is just pissing me off. Why is this a thing?
(Post is because my trans girlfriend was the victim of innercommunity transmisogyny.)
Recently, I've noticed frequent online usage of the same transmisogynistic copypasta, seemingly designed to hit every single button of anxiety. Some people may have encountered this text directly; I have, and it messed with me for a solid day. Using my writer skills, I've decided to create the 'anti'-version of this copypasta - a text promoting solidarity, love, and hope for transfem people. Here it is.
You are a woman, and anyone who degrades you for not being 'real' enough is in a completely outdated mindset. It’s irrelevant what parts you have, or appearance, or what cruel-hearted people might say; the only person who can define you is yourself. Those hurtful words are based on lies, misjudgment, and irrational bias, and they are invalid and untrue, no matter how many times they might repeat themselves or hold up antiquated studies. Being true to yourself is being true to nature, respecting your soul and your emotions and consecrating it as part of the world. Gender dysphoria can hurt like hell, but people are here for you, and in a good world, one we’re all working towards, you can cast it aside.
You might feel self-critical and doubting, but the words of love and encouragement you receive from friends, family, and the community are genuine and whole-hearted. Love is the shield with which we protect ourselves and one another. If people say nasty things about you out of sight, then fuck ‘em - a single word of love beats a thousand of hate. Your friends respect you in every way, and we’re there for you when you’re feeling down.
The idea that your ‘worth’ as a person is directly tied into your attractiveness is total bullshit. It doesn’t matter if you’re upset about some characteristic of your body - you’re valid, and there are always going to be people who understand and respect you. ‘Passing’ is a concept perpetuated to force us to act up to cis-het standards, and is intentionally manipulated to exclude us. Move beyond it. You’re stunning the way you are, and I promise there’s somebody out there who thinks you look like an angel.
There are going to be days where it’s hard to keep things up. The one thing you must remember is that this, too, shall pass. Good days and bad days come and go, and no matter how dark it gets, there will always be a sunrise around the corner. Depression can build up, but you have a beautiful, tangled web of people and places who want you to succeed and care for you no matter what. We’re here for you.
You make
... keep reading on reddit ➡I'm 29. I've been on hormones for about two years. I've never felt like my decision to transition was a mistake, but sometimes I feel like I've sealed my fate in doing so.
I've been paying attention to the media coverage and general reception of the newest Dave Chappelle special and the amount of disgust, vitriol, and contempt I've seen expressed toward trans women has had me feeling sick and fearful. A coworker of mine shared a meme on facebook mocking the Netflix employees involved in the walkout. I posted a comment explaining why the meme's point was flawed, how Chappelle's special was transmisogynistic, and how the Netflix employees aren't even demanding the special be removed (if you look at the demands, they're actually mostly just demanding better trans representation in the future)
She deleted my comment and left the meme up. She hasn't said a word to me.
It's that open contempt, the attitude that she can acceptably mock trans women while me speaking out about it is unacceptable. That attitude is so pervasive.
Margaret Atwood recently shared some very TERF-y articles and talking points on Twitter, and even though the vast majority of responses she got from trans women were very polite and articulate, she chose to paint the response as "aggressive, in-your-face activism".
It's like anything trans women say is unacceptable, like we're supposed to say nothing at all and just accept constantly being the world's punching bag and scapegoat.
I don't know what point I wanted to make here. I just look at trans suicide rates and homicide rates, and I look at the way people talk about us constantly, and I just feel so alone and scared. I feel less safe at work than I used to. I constantly feel so judged and belittled. Friends say things are getting better for trans folks but it feels like it's getting worse.
Every time I'm in mixed trans spaces online, I see so many trans women calling everything "transmisogyny". I see it so often on Twitter where someone will be talking about something that's obviously NOT about trans women and some trans woman with a decent following comments how "this is transmisogyny". A good example was a tweet about how women who are "Done with men" will require their butch partner to always wear a strap, be tall, super masculine, etc. I started seeing retweets about it being transmisogyny when it's OBVIOUS the person was saying that butch lesbians are not stand ins for cis men when straight women "wanna try women"
Next, I'm tired of being told trans masculine issues are because of transmisogyny. Issues with healthcare, being ignored by doctors, being infantilized are not related to transmisogyny and it's so incredibly narcissistic to even think that way. Trans men have their own issues due to other factors. Not because of transmisogyny. if transmisogyny went away tomorrow, trans men's issues don't automatically go with it.
Next, I'm tired of trans women hiding behind being a trans woman as a reason to deflect criticism. I'll see them say something absolutely vile about trans men, trans men and other trans women say they were wrong and explain why just to be met with "You don't know discrimination. Trans women deal with transmisogyny and the possibility of being killed every time we walk out the door" or just "Wow, so you're just going to be transmisogynistic to a trans woman for having an opinion?"I really wish these were sarcastic tweets but the accounts most guilty of this have a long record of doing it. If you dislike trans men, just stop interacting with them. Hopping on tweets of trans men with minimal followers talking about their issues to say at least it's not transmisogyny is idiotic and weird.
Finally, claiming transmisogyny is a societal issue while blaming trans men and cis women for the majority of it makes NO SENSE. Trans men and cis women are not the ones beating, killing and sexually assaulting trans women. A trans guy saying something mean on twitter or Reddit or Facebook is not analogous to murder, sexual assault, etc. Take all that energy to the people actually causing physical harm to you. But I know most won't for reasons I don't want to get into here.
Extremely glad this subreddits exists. I keep seeing mspec "lesbian" supporters saying "saying lesbians can't be attracted to men excludes trans women" and i can't stress enough how painful it is, as a trans woman, to be used as a human shield by these lesbophobes to shoehorn literal MEN into lesbianism.
It really seems like the entire goal of "mspec lesbians" are to alienate women in general, both cis and trans, from sapphic spaces by flooding them with men.
A lot of people might not necessarily hate us, but how many are willing to stand with us and protect us against all the shit we get? Transmisogyny is just a guilt-free way for people to be sexist. They can justify it by doing enough mental gymnastics to convince themselves that it's our fault, or we deserve it somehow, or that their bigotry is harmless because it's not real misogyny. Even people who claim to be feminists view transmisogyny as less important than misogyny that affects them, because they're happy to stand by and pretend we don't exist or just don't matter. It's all okay, because "Well, they chose to transition", or "They still benefit from male privilege so it evens out".
Just. Does anyone care about us? Not just for appearances, to make themselves look good, does anyone besides transwomen truly empathize and care about what we're facing right now? I'm starting to fully realize just how shitty we have it and how pervasive transmisogyny is in our culture and how little is being done about it.
EDIT: I say "transmisogyny" specifically instead of transphobia because even for a lot of people on the left, AMAB = Bad and AFAB = Good. AMABs facing hatred and bigotry will always come second to cis women playing their wounded gazelle act. It's not just TERFs and right-wingers who think this way, either.
I [21F] have come across plenty of men in poly circles that insist on being the "sole man" that their partners see and insist on one penis policies - to me this seems to a) exclude the multitude of people with gender identities other than "man" that have penises and b) imply that wlw relationships are somehow lesser or less tangible and valid, so as not to "count".
Are there any other reasons that don't boil down to one of those two things?
Recently Buck Angel (of course) has come under fire for perpetuating myths about trans women. He has promoted conversion therapy, said trans women can't be lesbians, used he/him pronouns for trans women, promoted the idea that transsexual women are autogynophilic, and all around has displayed attitudes that are misogynistic against trans women with the protection of him being part of the community.
Please take the time to sign this petition to show that trans men are in support of trans women and don't agree with Buck's representation of us at all. It's gross to see somebody advocate for all these points, considering trans women are our very close allies. Remember, they're more likely than us to face things such as `transphobia-motivated violence and murder so this isn't just a "woke" moment. Transgender people need to stay a community to help with healthcare, resources, emotional support, and to fight against false pseudoscience, that sadly one of our most famous members are spreading.
References:
A 2021 update with more recent examples
Who are TERFs? (Buck frequently allies himself with these people)
As a trans woman, you'll constantly have narratives pushed on you. People will use "male socialization" as an excuse for treating us like men.
Everyone "knows" we're just men in dresses. You (general you) won't say it though, because you're very polite.
It's very easy to do, you've got something you can say from any side.
- "don't you think pause 'she' could have handled this less agressively?"
You're not subtle. We can tell. But you don't have to be, really. We don't have any power, who's gonna call it out? Caitlyn Jenner? She'd rather shit on other trans people's rights. If a random trans woman tries to, of course, people will push her into the "angry trans woman" stereotype.
Also, defusing a conversation by making a new in-group by subtly doing this shit on purpose is so, so easy, and so many people have done it. I'm sure many people in here have done it too (this is not a statement on the quality of this sub, i say this because it's something i've seen and experienced several times, and seems to be a common experience among many other trans women i've talked to).
And, unless we're on the news, unless we're right in front of you, you'll forget we exist. As soon as the trans person is out of the room, we can finally start using person with a dick or XY chromosomes to mean the same as man again. I've seen it a lot on this sub as well.
I get that it's usually not intentional, but if you (general you) keep tripping up and saying things that imply trans people are their AGAB, you might have some transphobia to work through. It doesn't make you a bad person, but it's important to consider your biases.
Of course, the suggestion people should stop implying we're men, and stop implying trans men are women, and stop implying non-binary people are their AGAB, will often just be seen as pedantic and an annoyance. "You know what I meant!"
EDIT 2: I made some actual edits to the post and a lot of the replies are probably not going to make sense anymore, just keep that in mind. I think I managed to clarify a lot of what I was saying.
When I originally made this post I was in a very bad mental state, and it came out a bit jumbled and hard to understand.
i am writing a horror game with one of my best friends, and it has an overarching theme of womanhood, trauma, gender and how they intersect. i am worried about accidentally playing into transmisogyny or dogwhistles when writing the transfem character (minus some of the oppression she witnesses and faces at times by antagonists).
What are some things we can make sure to be careful about depicting? Also both of the protags are transgender (one is transfem and the other transmasc)
we're worried about mis-portraying the transfem character, and upsetting any TMA individuals who may see the game. me and the other developer are both transmasc so we are pretty comfortable with depicting the transmasc character in opposition to the transfem one.
we're wanting to get opinions from various TMA people on our writing as a sort of sensitivity reader, so, like it says in the title; what should we be careful about and avoid? the game is fairly silent hill esque as it's our main inspiration, so the content is designed to be heavy, especially as it explores the trauma and how it shaped the protagonists... there's not much comfort or happiness in the story apart from important moments where they prove a respective antagonist wrong when they question their identity and overall selves
Hey! So i recently came across a tumblr post that id better like to educate myself on and understand so that i can form a more educated opinion. Any attempts iv made to have open and respectful discussions about this on tumblr have...iv had alot of hate. But i really do want to learn more about how these issues have an impact on ppl and how other ppl think about it, so i thot i should at least try another platform. Proof (ss, links) of the op can be given if its within the rules of this sub but for anyone looking for more of my own opinions about this, my tumblr blog is under the same un.
I'll copy the post word for word here: 'Transmisogyny, much like the term Misogynoir, is a compound word coined to describe a specific intersection of oppression. Misogynoir, from Misogyny and Noire (Black), means the intersection of anti-Blackness and misogyny. Transmisogyny, from the words Transgender and Misogyny, means the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. Transmisandry does not function like those two words, because the second word in the compound (misandry) does not describe an actual axis of oppression. There is no such thing as misandry, so therefore misandry cannot intersect with transphobia. Transmisogyny does not just mean “the kinds of transphobia transfemmes face”. It means “this is how misogyny and transphobia combine, leading to trans women experiencing a specific mixture of both forms of oppression.” Being that misandry (the societal oppression of men) does not exist… How can it combine with transphobia? You don’t need a special word to describe transphobia faced by trans men. You can just call it transphobia. '
No tags were given by the blog i saw it on and the op blocked me so i cant see if there were any on the og post. For clarity id like to say that my og replies to the post (and any others who disagreed) were deleted and blocked by the op. I made my own post about it instead and have spoken about this alot since, evidence can be found on my blog. Iv been calm and respectful and I really do just want to talk about this. Its upsetting to be met w hate just for disagreeing but thats another discussion. I don't mean to offend anyone and if im wrong or insensitive plz tell me. Thanks in advance, i look forward to hearing from u!
Intersectionality exists in all forms of marginalization and being trans is no exception. For example, I can say with some measure of confidence, trans women in the West experience both transphobia & homophobia simultaneously. They have a lot of overlap but are still two distinct prejudices. So for example when someone says you are a "man in a dress" that is transphobia but when someone says you are just a f-slur, that is homophobia. Transphobia usually consists of a hostility to gendered behaviors and expressions that are not consistent with what you were assigned at birth. In the case of trans women a hostility that is rooted in the idea of the feminine being inferior to the masculine. Being "less of a man" is a synonym for being "less of a person". The hostility to trans women wearing make up, wearing dresses, or perfume is a hostility to the performance of femininity, our culture's primary signifier of womanhood.
Thus you cannot engage in transphobia without reinforcing the patriarchy. You send the signal that stepping outside of the boxes assigned to people at birth is unacceptable. This becomes an ever more self-reinforcing feedback loop. With fewer and fewer ways of expressing yourself becoming acceptable until we are trapped in a Victorian nightmare where they would cover the legs of tables for fear of becoming aroused (that's not a joke). The natural extension of this is women get forced back in the house, men once again are forced to become emotionless shells, & it's basically open season on queer people of any variety. So when you go after trans people, you are helping to create world that is less free for people of all stripes. I genuinely believe if women weren't needed to sustain the human race, the patriarchy's contempt of women would have caused a genocide thousands of years ago. Transphobia is just that contempt when you don't need to worry about going extinct as a species if you act on it
Transmisogyny is the specific intersection of gendered violence trans women and transfems face. It, like all forms of oppression, affects everyone in some way, yes, but only incidentally. It also is not just misogyny for trans people, it's much more specific than that, and we already have a word for the oppression all trans people face: transphobia, we can let transmisogyny be more specific its helpful. People may be assumed to be transfem when they are not, but this doesn't take away from the fact that it's a phenomenon directed at transfems & trans women.
My frustration is multi-faceted. For one, arguing that transmisogyny is a phenomenon unique to transfems has, routinely, led to me being harassed many times both online and in person. I've been told repeatedly that its transphobic and ludicrous to say trans men are not affected by transmisogyny. I've even been told that I am the aggressor and oppressor for even suggesting so, despite the term having always referred to the specific intersection of gendered violence we face. This inversion bothers me, because it feels so much at home with the exact way I'm treated by everyone who tries to position myself and other transfems as aggressive, oppressive, misogynistic men.
It bothers me, too, because trans men and other TME, meaning transmisogyny-exempt, trans people have hurt me and people I know in many ways. I know that they can be transmisogynistic. I have a close friend who endured years of abuse by a trans man who socially excluded her specifically by portraying her as mannish, aggressive, while portraying himself as innocent and small. It's weaponized sympathy that plays on transmisogynistic notions of trans women. I've personally been harassed, told I clearly havent been taking my T blockers, been told I'll never be a real woman, been pushed out of support spaces for advocating for myself, been painted again and again as an aggressive man for saying I want to be treated equally, all by TME people. To be clear, cis people are way worse. But, that doesn't diminish the transmisogyny problem we still face within our community.
And what hurts is that, despite years of seeing TMA, transmisogyny affected, people suffer continual abuse which cuts us off from what communities we have, I still routinely, constantly, see trans people everywhere joke and laugh and diminish transmisogyny as in any way useful. I see posts by trans men where they make digs at transmisogyny and laugh at the idea they could eve
... keep reading on reddit ➡
This directly applies only to trans women, but is relevant to anyone who cares about trans women's equality, rights, and identities. I am not speaking about intersectional oppressions that befall other segments of the trans community because I'm not personally qualified to. Since transmisogyny seems to pop up everywhere and has been discussed a lot lately, I thought it would be a helpful piece of community service to explain what it is, how it works, how it hurts trans women, and what you can do about it.
What is transmisogyny? It is the particular intersectional misogyny directed at trans women. Like other forms of misogyny, it is directed towards control, devaluation, and constraint, intended to disempower, silence, and restrict. But transmisogyny takes a distinct form, devaluing trans women by denying, questioning, or qualifying our womanhood, usually by contrasting us (well, stereotypes about us) with a reified stereotype of (cis) womanhood positioned as "real" or "correct" womanhood. It's used to overwrite our narratives, to claim we're "really" a particular (negative) way for a series of particular (negative) reasons that supposedly disqualify us from some aspects of womanhood. It's used to justify harming us, restricting our rights, or positioning us as either a danger to other women or as merely "honorary" women who can safely be othered in various ways. In other words, it's a way to deny our womanhood and call us men.
How does this look in practice? I'll give an example. Those who know me from this subreddit know I'm quite outspoken and forceful around here, especially when defending trans people from transphobia or defending trans women from transmisogyny.
"Of course," the transmisogynist might say. "Most women were raised to be meek, self-abnegating, submissive. You were socialized male, taught from an early age that your opinions and needs matter, that you should speak up." And if they're trying to be clever, they may add, "that doesn't mean you're not a woman! Of course you are! It just means you don't act like one, and it's really not even your fault!"
In fact, of course, it means "you're not exactly a woman, and I want to say that without being called transphobic." It's also completely wrong and erases my actual history. In fact, to keep using myself as an example, before I transitioned I was meek, quiet, terrified of imposing on anyone, submissive. I was in a physically abusive relationship (with a closeted trans man, n
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Every time I'm in mixed trans spaces online, I see so many trans women calling everything "transmisogyny". I see it so often on Twitter where someone will be talking about something that's obviously NOT about trans women and some trans woman with a decent following comments how "this is transmisogyny". A good example was a tweet about how women who are "Done with men" will require their butch partner to always wear a strap, be tall, super masculine, etc. I started seeing retweets about it being transmisogyny when it's OBVIOUS the person was saying that butch lesbians are not stand ins for cis men when straight women "wanna try women"
Next, I'm tired of being told trans masculine issues are because of transmisogyny. Issues with healthcare, being ignored by doctors, being infantilized are not related to transmisogyny and it's so incredibly narcissistic to even think that way. Trans men have their own issues due to other factors. Not because of transmisogyny. if transmisogyny went away tomorrow, trans men's issues don't automatically go with it.
Next, I'm tired of trans women hiding behind being a trans woman as a reason to deflect criticism. I'll see them say something absolutely vile about trans men, trans men and other trans women say they were wrong and explain why just to be met with "You don't know discrimination. Trans women deal with transmisogyny and the possibility of being killed every time we walk out the door" or just "Wow, so you're just going to be transmisogynistic to a trans woman for having an opinion?"I really wish these were sarcastic tweets but the accounts most guilty of this have a long record of doing it. If you dislike trans men, just stop interacting with them. Hopping on tweets of trans men with minimal followers talking about their issues to say at least it's not transmisogyny is idiotic and weird.
Finally, claiming transmisogyny is a societal issue while blaming trans men and cis women for the majority of it makes NO SENSE. Trans men and cis women are not the ones beating, killing and sexually assaulting trans women. A trans guy saying something mean on twitter or Reddit or Facebook is not analogous to murder, sexual assault, etc. Take all that energy to the people actually causing physical harm to you. But I know most won't for reasons I don't want to get into here.
i am writing a horror game with one of my best friends, and it has an overarching theme of womanhood, trauma, gender and how they intersect. i am worried about accidentally playing into transmisogyny or dogwhistles when writing the transfem character (minus some of the oppression she witnesses and faces at times by antagonists).
What are some things we can make sure to be careful about depicting? Also both of the protags are transgender (one is transfem and the other transmasc)
we're worried about mis-portraying the transfem character, and upsetting any TMA individuals who may see the game. me and the other developer are both transmasc so we are pretty comfortable with depicting the transmasc character in opposition to the transfem one.
we're wanting to get opinions from various TMA people on our writing as a sort of sensitivity reader, so, like it says in the title; what should we be careful about and avoid? the game is fairly silent hill esque as it's our main inspiration, so the content is designed to be heavy, especially as it explores the trauma and how it shaped the protagonists... there's not much comfort or happiness in the story apart from important moments where they prove a respective antagonist wrong when they question their identity and overall selves
note: i did post this earlier but through a link, but decided i want to actually post the contents here!
I feel like I've gotten better at it over time.
I think part of the reason it's there is because my dad always talks horribly about trans people, especially ones that don't pass, whether deliberately or not.
I feel really horrible for having this attitude. I guess in some ways, I feel like trans women who don't try to pass make me uncomfortable because I feel like they make trans people look bad.
And obviously passing doesn't matter. That doesn't make them less valid. But it's internalized. And I wish I could get rid of it. It makes me feel like shit.
