Apparently it was already a fan.
He heard it was Jabbing
It will be a very sad day when Kevin Bacon dies.
Boss
Doctors report his condition as stable.
Some was obviously jammin my phone.
He calmly said it was just like a rolling stone.
Roberto.
apparently the paper was jamming.
They asked if I was kitten.
His arr-sea car
Don't worry… his condition is stable.
And then you will all be sorry.
He said I could go to jail for it. I said it was a Risk worth taking
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
He dreads locking it.
Their name you ableist fuck
Oops, wrong sub.
Lay Lady Lay
Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
When asked who he thinks will give up the location stolen goods, he replys “Only Time will tell”
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
My 7 year old son tries to tell puns, but he's really bad at it. After going to the zoo, he noticed that his right ear was itchy. Upon inspection, we noticed that the skin around his ear was flaking. We discussed if it was a sun burn, but he had been wearing a bucket hat all day. Without missing a beat he said:
I guess it has to be an "ear"itation. He even used air quotes. Proud moment for Father's Day!
Hope you had a great Father's Day as well!
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Then we met
Apparently the correct term is “conjoined twins”.
I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
G. I. - G. I. Joe.
Bob
It still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
Their reasoning is the Bible says, "It's Adam and Eve, not Florence + the Machine."
Whoopsie-daisy
They always give straight "eh"s.
Someone posted it about a weak back.
"Ammonia cleaner." She replied. I said, "Sorry, I thought you worked here."
They’re not laughing now!
It was arf-ul.
“Come in, make a seat”
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
