Some gems from my old man...

Any time we'd go to drive somewhere... "And we're off like a herd of turtles!"

"What would you like to eat?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food."

"If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? European!"

"I'm thirsty!" "Hello Thursday, My name's Friday. Would you like to go out on Saturday and have a Sunday?"

And then, of course, he convinced me (or maybe I made it up in my little head?) that if I drank enough carrot juice I would be able to see in the dark, haha.

Wish I could remember more... He passed away when I was 8 or so. I'll happily share more if I remember them sometime. Heh, when he told my sister and I that he had cancer he insisted he had probably just swallowed a big crouton. :')

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xingped
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2013
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Dad hit me with another cheesy joke just now.

I'm making enchiladas for my work tomorrow but I forgot to buy baby jack cheese for my cheese enchiladas. I've been calling stores to ask them ahead if they have any, but no store in my neighborhood has it.

I told my dad about my frustrations as I was calling Food 4 Less, and my dad said, "Hey if they don't have it, tell them - tell 'em, 'Well you guys don't have JACK!'"

I then put my hands on my face began groaning as he closed out with, "I perform every Monday through Thursday!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinabimo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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