Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess Iβm a dad now!
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Once upon a time a lion and a cheetah had a race . This is what happened.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...
..so we stopped and went home.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Made this a while ago when I had way too much time on my hands
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I posted this on r/memes a while ago and it didn't blow up or somthing. I am just so proud of this it makes me laugh every time
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I spent so much time working on this
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Itβs 2020 but this time
Itβs allowed to drink (not for people who are in countries who are allowed before 21)
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︎ Jan 02 2021
My kids get confused when I throw whole basil leaves at them this time of year
But as they say, 'tis the season
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︎ Dec 24 2020
well reading this wasn't such a waste of time
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︎ Aug 31 2020
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)
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︎ Jun 22 2020
This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -
It's the traditional changing of the gourd.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Two Thirty, heard this pun a thousand times growing up in a house of dentists.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Next time this will be my order in bar for this year
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︎ Aug 24 2020
This isn't like last time, I swear
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︎ Feb 19 2020
Why did the guy who voted for Trump in 2016 switch sides this time?
Because hindsight is 2020.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project youβre working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
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︎ Sep 28 2020
So they are making this movie where Michael J. Fox voice acts for a time traveling chicken.
They call it Bawk to the Future.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
My Dad once told me this: "People overcome adversity all the time. Look at Beethoven."
"They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?"
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︎ Aug 17 2020
I post a pun everyday on this subreddit hoping itβll blow but Iβm disappointed.. every time!
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︎ May 21 2020
I went to this restaurant called Warren one time in college
It really was a terrible buffet
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︎ Sep 04 2020
My dad made another dad joke but this time it was die hard 5 instead of die hard 4.
You may have seen my other post a couple weeks back about die hard 4 and it got really popular and now my dad has made another joke and I want to prove to him that this was a bad one.
When the Russian guy was pushed off the building by mcclaines son and sliced by the helicopter, my dad said, βhe got choppered.β Am I wrong or was this one a bad one?
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︎ Jul 31 2020
This was my first time baking a cake for my son
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︎ Sep 03 2020
It's time this show gets the credit it deserves
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︎ May 10 2020
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
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︎ Jan 14 2020
Yeah this is big brain time
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︎ Jan 10 2020
"I hope you keep your promise this time!"
"Me too! I have my fingers crossed!"
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︎ Jun 20 2020
During my time as a PhD student I used to draw stupid puns on the whiteboard. This is one of my favourites.
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︎ May 22 2020
Did I do this right? I tried to do a name pun for the first time
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︎ May 17 2020
Argentina is kind of cold this time of year...
In fact, itβs borderline Chile.
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︎ Apr 16 2020
In times like these, laughter is essential. I don't have much, but for the ever vigilant mod team and you, the subscribers of /r/DadJokes, please allow me to offer this open letter...
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Running out of toilet paper, in a time like this, makes sense
I always knew we would wipe ourselves out
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︎ Apr 24 2020
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︎ Jul 29 2020
I've been to visit my grandmother's grave three times this week and each time someone has mysteriously covered it in gravy granules.
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︎ Jun 15 2020
Long time lurker, wanted to share a joke that will turn this subreddit upside down.
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︎ Mar 22 2019
Got told this one is scouts a long time ago. If youβre Russian when youβre walking in the bathroom and German when you come out, what are you while youβre in the bathroom?
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︎ Jul 03 2020
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times
Then I got tired so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box!
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︎ Jul 16 2020
When my wife said that she wanted to use this quarantine time to get Thinner, I just laughed.
When my wife said that she wanted to use this quarantine time to get Thinner, I just laughed.
She's thinking of "The Stand."
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︎ Apr 09 2020
I've washed my hands so many times this week
That I revealed cheat notes from a calculus test from 1972
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︎ Mar 17 2020
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︎ Jul 26 2019
Saw this on instagram, he must have time to kill
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︎ Jan 29 2020
This is no time for jokes, Jinping.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
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