In the early 1900's, everyone had horses and only rich people had cars. These days, everyone has cars and only rich people have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
I don’t know what the price of fireworks is these days,
But I bet it’s skyrocketed.
(Actual dad joke said by my dad just a few minutes ago.)
Inflation is getting really bad these days....
If you catch a tiger by the toe and he hollers, it's now $75 a day.
Lance isn’t a popular male name these days.
But in medieval times, men were named Lance a lot.
What are kids in school supposed to do these days?
My son just got his schedule for school and said his first class is banned. We spent all that money on his instrument for nothing.
Fancy Exit Signs are all the rage these days…
..But I think they are on the way out.
Lots of people's computers are freezing these days.
These people just need to get sweaters for them before they freeze.
Bread is Weimar expensive these days
Mike Tyson, Alan Jackson, and Jimmy Buffett are releasing a new product just in time for these hot summer days we are having!
Have you ever been drinking an ice cold beer only to notice the frigid feeling in your thumb?! Look no further and see these new sweaters we have designed to combat the issue! Introducing…..
5 O’clock thumb wear!
I’ll see myself out.
Hot air balloon ride ticket prices are really high these days.
I pee too many time these days, and hence worried
Should I be seeing a pediatrician ?
eBay is so useless these days…
I tried to look for a decent lighter and all they showed me was 13,000 matches.
These days I let my pistol do the talking.
It becomes a real glockenspiel
These days the name Lance is fairly uncommon
However in medieval times people were called Lance a lot
A lot of people don't know how to drive stick shift these days
They keep making mistakes while shifting, it really grinds some gears
Caffeine is my biggest problem these days.
Staff shortages are a real problem these days. I arrived early to the restaurant & the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I replied, "Not at all."
"Good," he said, "Take these meals to table nine."
How much dows a chimney cost these days?
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but these days when you mention Botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
God, produce is so expensive these days...
I wish there was an amateurduce aisle
They have all these designer dogs these days. I met a woman who crossed her Cocker Spaniel with a Maltese.
She now is the proud founder of a designer line of cockteases.
It’s hard to get a hold of any M&M’s these days, because Sweden has garnered them all. Consumers strangely have sympathies though…
It’s the stock all M syndrome.
Trying to understand why balloons cost so much these days..
I guess they are inflated.
What's Beethoven doing these days?
Seems like just about everywhere is short staffed these days...
Where do all of these average to tall people get the nerve to just not work anymore?
Why are balloons so expensive these days?
Why do tires cost so much these days?
Lance isn't a very common name these days.
But in King Arthur's time they were called Lance a lot.
Kids these days are stealing soap dispensers from school bathrooms...
I guess it would be a pretty clean getaway.
The Trump White House is so polite these days.
Everyone there is saying “Pardon me” all the time now.
Why do gen z-ers only count odd numbers of books these days?
They literally can’t even right now okay?
It's so hard for Necromancers to raise a family these days.
Unless of course they're buried in the same cemetery.
I guess that's how they stay fit though.
All those dead lifts.
Who goes Vroom Vroom these days anyway
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
Perhaps this is why wood floors are so popular these days
Where can you get cheap gas these days?
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days. He says it could be a lot worse
I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.
I know he means well.
Lance isn't a common name these days.
But in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.
Custom made Exit signs are all the rage these days.
But I think they are on the way out.
How much is a chimney these days?
Nothing! It's on the house
These days not a lot of people are named Lance.
But in Medieval times people were named Lancelot.
Lance isn't a common name these days
But in medieval time, people where named Lance a lot
Lance is a fairly uncommon name these days
But in medieval times people were called Lancelot
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
