Why did the kid wrap all his books in a blanket?

So that he could cover the entire syllabus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anay28
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A Greek cooked a wrap up in the air.

He used a gyro-copter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched an old lady in a head wrap get mugged for her purse before she quickly stabbed the man and took it back.

It was a shawl shank redemption

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/De_Salvation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office?

”I can clearly see you're nuts....”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mefingers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a doctor office wearing nothing but underwear made of clear plastic wrap. The doctor takes one look at him and says...

"Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AvocadoHammer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Parents are supposed to wrap empty boxes to put under the tree. Then when the children are naughty, throw one in the fire.

But what if they run out of children?

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend said that he wraps empty boxes to put under the tree. Every time one of his kids acts up,he throws them in the fireplace.

I asked him what happens when he runs out of kids?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesenseiv1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The fish & chip shop I go to still wraps up their meals in newspaper

Yesterday I got a plaice in The Sun.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy goes to the shrink wrapped in Saran wrap

And the shrink says, "I can clearly see you're nuts"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shipless_Captain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Those boxes with the plastic wrap are pretty cool.

The side of it that separates the plastic is really cutting-edge technology.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
🚨︎ report
At a restaurant, β€œI’ll get the Breakfast Wrap please.”

β€œ... Does it rhyme?”

I’m ashamed of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was telling someone where the egg roll wraps were at the grocery store...

She said,"You'll also find wonton wraps there," and I said,"Those things are soo heavy!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
🚨︎ report
My son: Daddy, you wrap the presents. I don't know how to wrap.

Me: You just gotta rhyme the last word of every sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZadocPaet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad, when are you going to wrap the presents?

Cue me beat-boxing....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hooof_hearted
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad gifts gaming PC to his sons in individual parts and wraps the components with some dad jokes.

http://www.reddit.com/r/buildapc/comments/1tnxio/my_kids_asked_for_a_gaming_computer_for_christmas/

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wutda7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Just saw that Walmart commercial with Anthony Anderson and Melissa Joan Hart and wondered how many dads will wrap up frozen peas the Christmas.

"You said you wanted "Frozen" stuff!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
🚨︎ report
When I moved to the city, I went to a bar where they only served individually wrapped cheese slices...

It was a cool singles bar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the best worm for wrapping presents?

Tape worm

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad joked by an 81-year-old woman

I had an elderly patient today who was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears. I asked her if she was worried about having her blood drawn and she said that the blood draw didn’t bother her, but that she was upset because she had hit a cat with her car on the way to her appointment this morning. She said that she didn’t know who the cat belonged to and that she had it wrapped up in a blanket in her car. I asked her how badly the cat was hurt and she said β€œI think he’s going to be alright. I just clipped the hind end of him, but his tail is just barely hanging on. After I leave here, I’m taking him straight to Wal-Mart.”

I told her that she might be better off taking the cat to a veterinary clinic instead of Wal-Mart and she said, β€œbut it’s just his tail, and Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in North America!”

πŸ‘︎ 455
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_Hooligan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Last year, my wife was so angry that I forgot to buy her a Christmas present, but that's not happening this time, because I bought her present two months ago! It's all wrapped up, sitting under the tree, waiting for her on Christmas Day!!

She's going to love these flowers!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..

I always keep the presents under wraps.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EMOmosie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were waking down the street, one was wrapped in its shell

The other was a salted..

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsBenjiiii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The Waitress saw me and my gf were wrapping up our meals. "Y'all wanna box for your leftovers?"

"I'm not much of a boxer, but I'll wrestle you for them."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
🚨︎ report
I have the gift for the gab, but I need to work on wrapping it up
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanRebalkin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the son tell his dad after a piece of sea weed wrapped around his leg while he was swimming

Sea kelp

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TarkArt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My mom had a bit of a panic this morning when none of the gifts were wrapped.

My dad said not to worry. He's doing them presently.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrIQy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Doctor Vist

A guy is going to see his shrink. when he gets there, just outside the door he strips down, gets butt naked & raps himself in suran wrap, then walks in/hops in, & goes & flops on the couch & says alright doc im ready! doc turns around, thinks for a minute, & says alright i can clearly see--- your nuts!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Christmas Wrapping is the Best

Background Info: We are grabbing the presents from around the house that we hid from my sister-in-law's kids, when I pulled off a funny dad joke (to me it was funny)

Sis: Wait, where is the Frozen DVD you bought?

Me(Dad): I put it Elsa-where.

She didn't even laugh, she just stared at me and waited for me to leave.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodagger217
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
🚨︎ report
During renovation works in my friend's appartment, they wrapped the elevator. People went into a dadjoke competition on the cardboard walls. (Link to imgur album in text)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/so_contemporary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
🚨︎ report
I was talking to my dad about how delicious burritos and fajitas were and how there was just something about them.

He agreed saying it was the taste of the wraps that held it all together.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NidCot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
One upon a time there was a green man, he always wore green clothes drove a green car and lived in a green house...

One day he sat on his green couch and turned on his green TV to watch a green western. And it was a great green western too.

When the green western was over, the green man turned the green TV off and decided to go for a nice relaxing green bath.

He left the green lounge, turned off the green lights and travelled along the green hall, up the green stairs and to the green bathroom.

In the green bathroom he turned on the green light and turned the green tap to make the green water fill up the green bath tub.

The green man got changed from his green clothes and was left in the green. He dipped his green toe in to the green water to check the temperature, then he slowly lowered his whole green self in to the green bath.

No sooner had his green bottom touched the base of the green tub then the green doorbell went. He heaved his green body out of the green tub and quickly wrapped a green towel around his green waist.

He went down the green stairs to the green door and opened it. Standing there in front of his green house was an elderly lady, she asked the directions to local train station. The green man forgot about the green towel situation and with the green hand that was on the green towel pointed in the direction of the trains.

In doing so he dropped his green towel to his green ankles, revealing his green privates. The elderly lady shrieked turned and ran across the road, where she was struck by a passing car.

And kids what's the moral of the story? . . . . . Don't cross the road while the green man's flashing

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmalaki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Thought you'd appreciate my dadjoke marriage proposal

Back when i got engaged in 2009, my now-wife and i went for a picnic. I had the engagement ring wrapped in tinfoil in the picnic bag.

When we were done eating, i took it out but didn't unwrap it, and then i sneakily dialed her cell number. This was a bit we would do every now and then (call each other in the same room) so it wasn't that unusual.

She picks up the phone and says, "oh hello, why are you calling?"

To which i respond, "Oh i just felt like... [Unwraps tinfoil] Giving you a ring"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
🚨︎ report
While making lunch today I was pretending to be on a cooking show

"First we take the tortilla and lay it out. Then we add the sliced meat, and veggies, dressing it with the red sauce by Franks. Add the cheese and fold it in on itself".....

"Ok, that's a Wrap"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrispyCritter83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
what did the psychologist say to the man who walked into his office in saran wrap?

I can clearly see your nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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mental health

A guy walks into a psychiatrists office dressed only in plastic wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says "Well, I can see your nuts."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boop108
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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