I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
My dad is eagerly waiting for the 1st Jan 2021
So he can say "I have not seen you since last year"
I was anxiously waiting to hear the result of the Worst Bad Habit Awards
Nurse: Sorry for the waiting
My dad: No problem, I'm patient
Four men waiting in the hospital
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election
All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!
Who do you go see when you've got no signal in the waiting room?
I stood, rubbing a piece of plywood that was leaning against the wall, waiting for someone to notice.
“What are you doing, dad?”
I sigh a long, heavy sigh.
“Not much, just feeling board.”
Why was singer waiting at the front door?
He didn't have the right key and didn't know when to come in
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.
Their next car is Elon gated.
Waiting for the parade to start;
Someone says, let’s get this show on the road.
After waiting for an hour at the doctor's office the nurse came by and said sorry for the wait...
To which I replied, "No problem, I'm patient."
As a doctor, whenever I hear someone crying from the waiting room that they want to get a lollipop and go home, I think to myself
They must be a little patient.
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: “Isn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:
I was waiting for my wife at the airport, when I saw that she was ringing me.
I picked it up and she said sorrowfully, "I didn't make the plane."
"That's fine, honey," I replied. "You know nothing about construction."
The crossover event we’ve all been waiting for.
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
For the convict on death row waiting to hear back from the governor...
...no noose is good news.
What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?
Get the kar-ma!
I’ll see myself out.
My therapist hates it when I stand in the corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.
It’s annoying, but I’m a big fan.
The year that we've been waiting for
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in.
Even between the laughing and joking, the women in front of me insisted that we swap places, so I could get mine first.
I thought to myself at last a decent punchline
Ya know the weird thing about waiting for peace?
The other day I went to get coffee with my boyfriend. Waiting in line, I asked him what he was getting and he said "Soy Latte"
I was proud to immediately come up with "Hola Latte, soy Dad!"
Turns out he doesn't know the least bit Spanish and this was lost on him...
What do you call a group waiting to view the Pride Parade?
My wife needs a cornea transplant, but the waiting list is too long!
We really need a faster wife-eye provider.
Al Gore was tapping his foot impatiently while waiting for the elevator to arrive. The guy next to him said "Nice Algorithm!"
Al Gore responded: Al Gore take the stairs.
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?
Last year, my wife was so angry that I forgot to buy her a Christmas present, but that's not happening this time, because I bought her present two months ago! It's all wrapped up, sitting under the tree, waiting for her on Christmas Day!!
She's going to love these flowers!
I was in a KFC in Prague, standing in line waiting to order my lunch when I noticed the beautiful girl wearing a black and white tiled apron who was giving the man in front of me a bucket of Buffalo wings..and then it dawned on me.
I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.
Nurse comes in and tells the doctor "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?" The doctor says...
"Tell him I can't see him!"
A bunch of boxers are waiting in a queue to hit a man in the face
The punchline is in the title
If while waiting for my deli order I "cut" the cheese
Should I get an employee discount?
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied
You're really testing my patients.
Look, I hate waiting in lines as much as the next guy...
Actually, he probably hates it slightly more.
Waiting at the doctor with my dad.
We're currently sitting in the waiting room at the doctors. My father went to grab one of the magazines on the table. He took one that's called "Bunte", which is German for "colourful". He opened the first page and said: "Nah, that's too colourful for me." Which is a German quote used when somebody had enough of something.
I showed my friend all the people waiting to hit me because I pissed them off.
A man ran through the waiting room, barged into the doctors office and said "Doctor, help me quick I've swallowed a pool ball."
The doctor looked at him crossly, pointed out of the door and said "get to the end of the cue!"
A putter and a #4 iron rob a bank, who is waiting out in the car?
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. “Do you mind waiting for a bit?” The manager asked. “Not at all” I replied.
“Good, take these lasagnas to table 6” he said.
Every time I go to my therapist, I stand in one corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.
Everyone hates it, but I’m a fan.
If you're waiting for the doctor,
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
