What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?

Video game characters have lives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What did Poppy the troll do when someone took her favourite Pixar DVD?

She got back Up again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skepticCanary
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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A Rabbi paid a visit to the village of "Trid," where they were being relentlessly kicked by an angry troll. The troll completely avoided the Rabbi, kicking only the locals. He finally approached the troll, and asked why.

The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Did you see the one about a reddit troll under a bridge?

β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’A Bridgeβ€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’

The One About A Reddit Troll

You have now :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kailebeverettart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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I'm not sure if these count as jokes exactly, but Calvin's Dad was quite the troll(x-post from Calvin and Hobbes) imgur.com/a/GLDrD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/la-blakers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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In it for the long troll... any other suggestions?

Every time the household has one of those "I love you" rounds... I say "I love lamp." The kids look at me funny and I correct myself to the appropriate-for-the-moment comment.

I look forward to them watching the classic "old" movie I've been referencing for as long as they remember. I hope they'll call me to say they finally got the joke.

Any other long-term dad-bombs I should start planting?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morechatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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What do you call rocks that give bad advice?

The Trolling Stones

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Dad is trolling the CNN comment sections again.

http://imgur.com/N768Rir

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBMinor1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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How do the monsters that hide beneath bridges get to work?...

...They ride the Troll-ey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boop66
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Movie theatre xpost

Several years ago my wife and I were the only two in a movie theater when an older guy (70ish) came in and very slowly moved to the row we were in and went to sit in the seat right next to me. I looked at my wife with a "can you believe this?" face.

Just as the guy's butt hit the chair he looked at us and said "gotcha!" Then sprang up and went to a seat several rows away chuckling to himself as if he does that all the time. Never said anything else to us, just loving his old man life and trolling strangers at the movies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spore2012
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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I just realized my Grandpa was a very dedicated dad joker.

I spent most of my life thinking my uncle was named "Ash" (totally not Ash, but it works for explaining this). Turns out "Ash" was a nickname to describe his hair. His real name was French (totally his actual name, and more common that you'd think). This was because my grandpa liked hearing my uncle say "my name is French," and see the look of confusion of people's faces. My Grandpa was a troll. Rest in peace, you crazy old man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheepinblack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
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Flame wars and Trolls

I have come to the conclusion that the reason for trolls causing flame wars is a direct result of Dungeons and Dragons.

See, in dungeons and Dragons, the only way to kill a troll is with fire and acid. So when a troll enters a forum thread, the flame war that erupts is an attempt to kill the troll with fire.

I suppose an acid war could also erupt, but those who would use acid seem too stoned to care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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Stinky Feet

As I was growing up, my Dad always called Parmesan cheese "stinky feet." I think maybe because it smells like feet? I've never been sure. I know now that this was a joke my dad made up long before I was born and it kind of just stuck. At the dinner table it was always referred to as "stinky feet" and my six year old self didn't know any better.

Cut to my very first sleep-over and my friend's family had spaghetti for dinner. There was no Parmesan cheese on the table, so I asked "do you guys have stinky feet?"

I wonder if my Dad was just doing the long troll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealbreffix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
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Overheard from a couple of middle schoolers that left me confused

#1: Hey, can you spell BMW?

#2: Uhh sure... BEW.

#1: BEW? Where'd you get the E from?

#2: From the middle.

Note: I have little to no background to this. From what I gathered, #1 was trolling and #2 decided to troll back with a quality dad retort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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Tell me your best-long winded groaners!

Here is an example!

Every morning the Trids got up, ate breakfast, and marched over the bridge to Tridville to work. One morning, a troll moved in under the bridge. When the Trids tried to cross the bridge, the troll climbed up and kicked the Trids all the way back to their homes. The Trids decided to take the day off in hopes that the troll would go away, but the next morning the troll once again climbed up onto the bridge and kicked them back to their homes. In desperation, the Trids decided to ask the Rabbi for help. So the next morning the Rabbi walked across the bridge several times but never saw the troll. He went home believing the troll had indeed moved on. When the Trids tried to cross the bridge afterward, the troll climbed up again and kicked the Trids back home. The Rabbi returned to the bridge and called out for the troll. When the troll appeared, the Rabbi asked why he was allowed to cross the bridge but not the Trids. The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baiglethekid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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A man needs an ear transplant

He gets to the hospital and they say "sorry but we have no human ears left, but we can get you one from a pig"

The man agrees and the transplant goes ahead. He grows out his hair a little so people won't notice and then waits for his check up.

The doctors ask "How are you enjoy your new ear?" and the man says "It's okay, but there's a little crackling in it"

(credit to my dad for trolling me)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Userguy_1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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Roommate got me while watching game shows

So my roommate and I were making breakfast and we were watching Deal or No Deal reruns. Howie Mandel was making troll comments toward the contestant, and my friend shouted, "Howie, shit up! This is not Howie do it!"

I had to leave the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msquared980
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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Not a dad, but planning to pull this one out on my children when I take them fishing

So, I'm carrying around all gear, going out to the river. I "accidentally drop it, and pick most of it up, leaving only some fishing line. I then yell to my son "come on, pick up the slack!"

And one day, I hope he learns from me, and does the same to me. And just when he thinks he's gotten me I responded "you must be trolling".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2pillows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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My kids love the show paw patrol

Anytime the song comes on, I ask them were all the trolls are. I never see any trolls, which is strange considering the show is about their papa.

They are only 3, 5, and 7, but that joke is always good to make them laugh. "No daddy, you don't understand...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suuperdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
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Learning to drive...

So, when I was first learning to drive (actually my first time operating the car), my dad was teaching me to control the engine's RPM. However, he likes to troll me every once in awhile; this is what he did. Keep in mind we're parked in our driveway, parking break on, in neutral...

"Alright, weediereedie, you're going to want to hover around 2000 RPM, so I want you to really concentrate on keeping the engine at that speed. Hear what the engine sounds like when you go too far, or go under." I concentrate really intensely, and lose focus on what's going on around me. All of a sudden, my dad shouts in my ear "WATCH OUT THERE'S A TRUCK ABOUT TO CRASH INTO US!!" I immediately duck my head, cry out in fear, and slam my foot on the gas, while my dad cracks up in the passenger seat to the point of tears. Love you, Dad...most of the time :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weediereedie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2013
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My mom was giving me a list of ingredients for a cake...

The the whole family (my mom, dad, and two sisters) are sitting in the living room and my mom asked me to pick up some ingredients from the grocery store. She starts listing them out loud, "I'll need heavy cream, eggs, milk-"

At which point I interrupt to ask what size eggs she needs (i.e. AA etc.) and she responds "It doesn't matter just make sure they're large - oh and cage free"

My dad immediately came back, "Cage-fee? What are you worried about - that the cake will get away?"

My dad immediately does his troll grin and my mother looks at him with a years practiced look of "how did you ever trick me into marrying you"

Naturally this was followed by my nine year old sisters falling apart into giggles, and eventually me too. My mother looks at us like she's thinking to herself "They must have switched all three of my babies at the hospital" before looking up at the ceiling and saying, "I guess I'll write a list..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firebrat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
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My wife told me her dad said this all the time when she was growing up...

My wife told me the other day that when her and her siblings would finish their food, they would say "Dad, I'm done" and he would reply "What? Your dumb? Why would you say something like that about yourself?".

Yeah, nothing crazy funny, but her parents are native Spanish speakers so I think he used to troll the kids all the time and use that as an excuse. I think he still trolls me after 7 years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gella321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Not much of a joke I guess, but I got my five year old with this at the dinner table

Me: "Don't answer my next question. Do you always do what you're told?"

She sat there for a full thirty seconds, mentally wrestling with an answer that would prove she's a good girl while still complying with the instruction to not answer the question. Eventually she settled on "Oh Daaaad!" and went back to eating.

Trolling your children, one of the perks of fatherhood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibolamoo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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All hail the king of dadjokes

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/661a77b3da/norm-macdonald-trolls-the-bob-saget-roast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tamarockstar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
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