A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
When there is a strong gust, I often let it take the wheel and steer...
"I'm a strong supporter of the LTPO community...
(Lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion.)"
God dammit, dad.
The guy working in the factory was told he was not strong enough to do the job
He decided to quit by handing in his too weak notice
"I'm fairly certain that I stole my son's really strong beer from the bridge."
"What percent?"
"I'm about 80% sure."
I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...
The puns are strong with this user
Why is the wind so strong today?
It’s clearly been working out
I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.
It's my sheer Will power.
The Irony is strong in this one
How did the librarian get so strong
The Dad jokes are strong with this one...
My daughter read one book on comedy and wanted to try stand up , knowing the quality of her material I of course said yes!
https://youtu.be/Rtsmxu5KafQ
The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..
I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.
The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.
The Dad Jokes is strong with my 12 y/o son.
My wife: Daddy and I are tired from looking for a car today.
Son: Would you say you are Exhaust-ed!
What did the old, ripped rope say to the young strong rope when asked if it can still be used to tug a boat?
As we were driving, a friend of mine pointed to a bridge with a train on it and stated that the bridge didn't look very strong.
I replied that what it lacks in strength, it makes up for in training.
The Hulk is incredibly strong.
You can tell because he doesn't Bruce easily.
Got my girlfriend (in labour with our first son, having strong contractions) on the way to the hospital
Me: So you think he might be born by midnight?
Her: I dunno...we might get in there and the triage nurse says I'm only 1cm
Me: Hmmm...I think you're more like 5'2"
It went down as well as you might expect.
How did the coffee get so strong?
If I punch myself in the face and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
The dad in you is strong
Son: We’re in Walgreens so Mal can get eye drops and some girl goes, “Are you finding everything okay?” So I pull a dad and go, “You guys have ‘everything’? Where’s your Meaning Of Life?”
She calmly responded, “You won’t find that in Vegas.”
Dad: It's "I wasnt looking for everything". But your quip was fair. You need more practice. Keep trying.
Son: No kids yet, so I can’t channel the arcane magic
Dad: You will always carry your inner dad. The dad is strong with you my young dadawan.
Horses are strong and muscular because they are in the neighhhhvy and cows are fat and lazy because they like moooooovies.
A rare child free night, a fancy restaurant. Waiter tells us the wine he's pouring has "strong tannins." I turn to my wife and tell her if the wine turns orange it's definitely a knock off...
... because of the fake tannin.
I grin, she groans and drinks more wine.
For having such strong opinions on border security, Donald Trump sure can cross the line.
The force is strong with this one...
I have a four year old daughter and a two year old son. My daughter often complains (usually not too long after eating dinner) that she's hungry so lately I've been getting her with the staple "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad" line. Just today on our way back from the gym she complains that she's hungry again to which my son replies "Hi Hungwee!"
My dad, 61, still strong with the dadjokes
Visiting my dad for the weekend, watching an old movie when a scene with nuns comes on, I ask him "Why are they called nuns?" Without missing a beat, his reply: "If you try to get with them, you'll get "nun".
Why is the US so Army strong?
Is it because they skip leg day?
The dad is strong in this one
My wife is a wine drinker; while putting away dishes, I held one up and told my wife, "Your wine glasses are a pain in the ass".
Our youngest son promptly chimed in with "You mean a pain in the glass?!"
Moments like this make a dad proud. :)
The force is strong in this one
Dad in Darth Vader voice: I am your father!
Son replies:"I know dad, you're not funny..."
Dad:"Just kidding."
President Obama: "The State of the Boullion is too strong."
The elevator mechanic father joke reminded me of my dad doing this for 30 years now and still going strong
He drove semi for UPS for 32 years until he retired. He used to tell people he was a "semi professional driver"
eye roll
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