The Sharp Puns

A list of puns related to "The Sharp"

I get a sharp pain in my belly whenever I turn to the back of a textbook…

I’m afraid I may have Appendixitis.

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👤︎ u/andersonfmly
📅︎ Jan 07 2023
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You may have to break the bank to buy those special round Triscuits without the sharp corners

They're real safe crackers

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👤︎ u/eagleboy444
📅︎ Oct 03 2022
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Why did the salad look sharp?

It was dressing

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👤︎ u/Smokll
📅︎ Jul 26 2022
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My boss asked me to look sharp in front of the clients, but it was impossible...

There was no point.

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👤︎ u/DeadOnDeparture98
📅︎ Jul 09 2022
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I've invented a machine that slices the blade off of sharp objects.

It's some cutting edge technology.

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👤︎ u/ZeLittleMan
📅︎ Mar 15 2022
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My friend was on a hike and the trail was covered in rocks and boulders when he started feeling a sharp pain in his kidneys.

He started to feel better after he passed the first stone.

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👤︎ u/iwasthere4iam
📅︎ Jun 11 2021
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My jealous neighbor, the old bastard, seeded my lawn with dandelions! But I'll get him back tonight by planting flowering plants characterized by leaves with sharp prickles on the margins...

I figure thistle be the best revenge!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jul 27 2021
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Just a moment ago, my hands began to convulse, my fingernails turned into sharp talons, my palms became thick, hairy, and tough. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and the feeling went away

I just had two paws for a moment

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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Apr 24 2021
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A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...

The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"

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👤︎ u/ReceptionSweet383
📅︎ Mar 20 2021
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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a sharp dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

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👤︎ u/khaosktrl
📅︎ Dec 30 2017
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My son didn't like sharp stones on the seafloor at the beach

He couldn't stand it.

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👤︎ u/thatdoginapan
📅︎ Aug 07 2020
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My friend didn’t get why the top of the fence was so sharp

I said to him, “That’s the point”

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👤︎ u/MrPoltergeist67
📅︎ Mar 06 2020
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You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round!

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Apr 27 2019
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An audience member asked me how I made the brisk sharp cracking sound with my hand.

I told her it was a snap.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 02 2020
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On the dad joke scale, I got my first ever eye-roll and sharp exhale WITH a walk out of the room from my wife!

Me: Today was an awful day at work

Wife: Are you serious? Tell me about it

Me: I’m not Sirius, I’m your husband. And Itt was a short, hirsute creature who looked short of like a haystack with sunglasses; he was Gomez’s cousin and spoke in high pitched gibberish all the time. Now if we could get back to my day...

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👤︎ u/mfitzy87
📅︎ Aug 22 2019
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What’s the difference between a sharp dressed fellow on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed one on a tricycle?

A tire.

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👤︎ u/13FoxDan
📅︎ Aug 17 2019
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A sharp pencil said to the eraser "people sharpen pencils so they can use them a long time."

The eraser replied "you have a point."

-As told to me by seven-year-old Gibson M. L.

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👤︎ u/ucom1
📅︎ May 01 2018
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Now that I'm getting older, I'm not as sharp all the time as I used to be.

But since I'm a professional musician, my colleagues all seem to appreciate it.

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👤︎ u/arksien
📅︎ Mar 10 2017
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I was shopping the other day and some really sharp clothes caught my eye.

It was really painful.

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👤︎ u/pigonawing1977
📅︎ Apr 04 2018
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