I got an interview and told them I was proficient in C and C-sharp.
Turns out that wasn't good enough to be a pianist
π︎ 43
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
I cut myself making a sandwich today.
They don't call it sharp cheddar for no reason.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
Don't bring cheese to a sword fight.
But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
I took my car to the shop today because my tire was making a whistling noise
Mechanic: sounds like a flat
Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
I used to sell skewers for a living
things were always sharp and to the point
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
Why do programmers wear glasses?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 31 2016
I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 08 2016
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I cut my finger while slicing cheese.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Im near sighted and tone deaf
I canβt C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor,
That boy is nothing but treble.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Thereβs a tool for every job
At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so itβs an odd request.
Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled βHeater?β.
Gary replies, βYeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing toolβ as he crosses his arms and shivers.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
Why were there so many road accidents in the Roman Empire?
Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?
Because it was extra sharp.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
My wife was grating some cheese then suddenly she pulled her hand away and said 'Ow, I think I cut my finger!'
I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 20 2020
My sister was moving her TV into her house, and i said,
βCareful, that tv is SHARP!β since it was a sharp branded TV
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
What would happen if a piano fell on you?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 15 2018
Cheesinβ
My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As weβre munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say βOw!β She asked what was wrong and I said, βWell no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.β She was not amused
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
I was sitting at home the other day when man broke in holding a block of cheese.
He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 05 2020
Why did the butter knife put on a bow tie?
Because he wanted to look sharp.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
I was injured by cheddar the other day.
It was way too sharp for me to handle.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
Today a man tried to assault me with a knife
Damn, that was a sharp moment.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
I came up with a joke about accidental notes.
I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
So I asked my brother why he was wearing glasses in his new profile picture.
He replied, "because I wanted to look sharp".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 28 2020
My opinion on the new Tesla Cybertruck?
I think it has a sharp design.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
What did the knife say to the tuxedo?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
I knew a kid who tried making music with a block of cheese
It was always too sharp for my taste.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
My brother was getting the shredded cheddar for dinner.
I told him βbe careful, itβs sharp!β
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
I was making my kid cheese and crackers
And when I handed it to her I said, βBe careful, this cheese is extra sharp.β
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 04 2020
Why would "C" make such a good knife?
Because it would "B-Sharp"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
The musical saw is the most challenging instrument
Theyβre always a bit sharp.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
You can really hurt someone with cheese
Especially if it's extra sharp
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 18 2019
Why did the knight carry his cheese sword?
Because it was sharp cheddar.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
Never play darts with children..
Their heads aren't nearly sharp enough
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
Why did the musician walk instead of driving his car?
He'd driven over something sharp and got his tire flat
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
What kind of cheese should not be tossed around or played with?
π︎ 37
π
︎ Feb 09 2019
My son, who's studying ancient Greek culture in school, got me again.
In the kitchen this morning, he tells me: "Dad, you know the Spartans were really fierce, and they'd throw away old weapons. They thought that if it wasn't sharp, it didn't have a point."
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 31 2017
Why was the programmer always running into walls?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 08 2019
Why do Pencils shave?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 14 2019
Be careful about handling blocks of cheese.
Some of them might be sharp.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
What did the programming teacher say to his students?
I see sharp students in this class!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 09 2019
An out-of-tune love song
Plenty of Fish in the C-Sharp
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 10 2019
What's the number one cause of getting cut in the kitchen?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 16 2019
Why did the two knives go to the dance together?
Because they both looked sharp
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 14 2019
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
My Dad drops this gem going through airport security.
Airport Security: Do you have anything sharp on you?
Dad: Yes, my brain.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 22 2015
Cheddar is the most dangerous cheese
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.
I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
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