I got an interview and told them I was proficient in C and C-sharp.

Turns out that wasn't good enough to be a pianist

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I cut myself making a sandwich today.

They don't call it sharp cheddar for no reason.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't bring cheese to a sword fight.

But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my car to the shop today because my tire was making a whistling noise

Mechanic: sounds like a flat

Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexter992
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to sell skewers for a living

things were always sharp and to the point

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do programmers wear glasses?

Because they can't C#

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sneakysneaky23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.

Bβ™―

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feet2Big
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I find that the quickest way to man's heart

is with a very very sharp knife.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wreckage88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut my finger while slicing cheese.

It was extra sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SketchPV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Im near sighted and tone deaf

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeffer90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a tool for every job

At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so it’s an odd request.

Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled β€œHeater?”.

Gary replies, β€œYeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool” as he crosses his arms and shivers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nuclear-juniper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why were there so many road accidents in the Roman Empire?

Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jasonrodriguez_DT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak

it wasn't really sharp of him

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?

Because it was extra sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was grating some cheese then suddenly she pulled her hand away and said 'Ow, I think I cut my finger!'

I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDutchArmy
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister was moving her TV into her house, and i said,

”Careful, that tv is SHARP!” since it was a sharp branded TV

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What would happen if a piano fell on you?

You would B-flat

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pitchstrikes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Cheesin’

My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say β€œOw!” She asked what was wrong and I said, β€œWell no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was sitting at home the other day when man broke in holding a block of cheese.

He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doughboy9419
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the butter knife put on a bow tie?

Because he wanted to look sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was injured by cheddar the other day.

It was way too sharp for me to handle.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadalex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Today a man tried to assault me with a knife

Damn, that was a sharp moment.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NothingHereBuddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I came up with a joke about accidental notes.

I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sammiedontsurf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
So I asked my brother why he was wearing glasses in his new profile picture.

He replied, "because I wanted to look sharp".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamseyDidIt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My opinion on the new Tesla Cybertruck?

I think it has a sharp design.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/May-Flower-9211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the knife say to the tuxedo?

Lookin sharp

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew a kid who tried making music with a block of cheese

It was always too sharp for my taste.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother was getting the shredded cheddar for dinner.

I told him β€œbe careful, it’s sharp!”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peodup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was making my kid cheese and crackers

And when I handed it to her I said, β€œBe careful, this cheese is extra sharp.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Popes1ckle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why would "C" make such a good knife?

Because it would "B-Sharp"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The musical saw is the most challenging instrument

They’re always a bit sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
You can really hurt someone with cheese

Especially if it's extra sharp

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the knight carry his cheese sword?

Because it was sharp cheddar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubsword
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Never play darts with children..

Their heads aren't nearly sharp enough

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunarsee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the musician walk instead of driving his car?

He'd driven over something sharp and got his tire flat

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wotah_Bottle_86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of cheese should not be tossed around or played with?

Sharp cheddar.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My son, who's studying ancient Greek culture in school, got me again.

In the kitchen this morning, he tells me: "Dad, you know the Spartans were really fierce, and they'd throw away old weapons. They thought that if it wasn't sharp, it didn't have a point."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the programmer always running into walls?

He couldn’t see sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do Pencils shave?

To look sharp

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcubed1812
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Be careful about handling blocks of cheese.

Some of them might be sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the programming teacher say to his students?

I see sharp students in this class!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aevyian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
An out-of-tune love song

Plenty of Fish in the C-Sharp

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the number one cause of getting cut in the kitchen?

Sharp Cheddar

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cXoXdXy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?

Invitation said to look sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad drops this gem going through airport security.

Airport Security: Do you have anything sharp on you?

Dad: Yes, my brain.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mvpking
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Cheddar is the most dangerous cheese

It's sharp

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radbme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.

I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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