I got an interview and told them I was proficient in C and C-sharp.

Turns out that wasn't good enough to be a pianist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emu404
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
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I cut myself making a sandwich today.

They don't call it sharp cheddar for no reason.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigboyschoolaccount
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
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Don't bring cheese to a sword fight.

But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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I took my car to the shop today because my tire was making a whistling noise

Mechanic: sounds like a flat

Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dexter992
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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I used to sell skewers for a living

things were always sharp and to the point

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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Why do programmers wear glasses?

Because they can't C#

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sneakysneaky23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2016
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I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.

Bβ™―

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Feet2Big
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2016
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I find that the quickest way to man's heart

is with a very very sharp knife.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wreckage88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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I cut my finger while slicing cheese.

It was extra sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SketchPV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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Im near sighted and tone deaf

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zeffer90
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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There’s a tool for every job

At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so it’s an odd request.

Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled β€œHeater?”.

Gary replies, β€œYeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool” as he crosses his arms and shivers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nuclear-juniper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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Why were there so many road accidents in the Roman Empire?

Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jasonrodriguez_DT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
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I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak

it wasn't really sharp of him

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tommasogalimbertii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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I won a duel last week with a block of cheddar cheese. How you might ask?

Because it was extra sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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My wife was grating some cheese then suddenly she pulled her hand away and said 'Ow, I think I cut my finger!'

I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDutchArmy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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My sister was moving her TV into her house, and i said,

”Careful, that tv is SHARP!” since it was a sharp branded TV

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Astronomylover99999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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What would happen if a piano fell on you?

You would B-flat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pitchstrikes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2018
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Cheesin’

My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say β€œOw!” She asked what was wrong and I said, β€œWell no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNightmanCometh10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2020
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I was sitting at home the other day when man broke in holding a block of cheese.

He stabbed me with it and all I could think was damn, that cheddar is sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/doughboy9419
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2020
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Why did the butter knife put on a bow tie?

Because he wanted to look sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/afranc72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2020
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I was injured by cheddar the other day.

It was way too sharp for me to handle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/undeadalex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2020
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Today a man tried to assault me with a knife

Damn, that was a sharp moment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NothingHereBuddy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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I came up with a joke about accidental notes.

I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sammiedontsurf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
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So I asked my brother why he was wearing glasses in his new profile picture.

He replied, "because I wanted to look sharp".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RamseyDidIt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2020
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My opinion on the new Tesla Cybertruck?

I think it has a sharp design.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/May-Flower-9211
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2019
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What did the knife say to the tuxedo?

Lookin sharp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Transgender-bacteria
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2020
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I knew a kid who tried making music with a block of cheese

It was always too sharp for my taste.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PsychologicalQuote9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2019
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My brother was getting the shredded cheddar for dinner.

I told him β€œbe careful, it’s sharp!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Peodup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2019
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I was making my kid cheese and crackers

And when I handed it to her I said, β€œBe careful, this cheese is extra sharp.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Popes1ckle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2020
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Why would "C" make such a good knife?

Because it would "B-Sharp"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
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The musical saw is the most challenging instrument

They’re always a bit sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2019
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You can really hurt someone with cheese

Especially if it's extra sharp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2019
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Why did the knight carry his cheese sword?

Because it was sharp cheddar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubsword
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2019
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Never play darts with children..

Their heads aren't nearly sharp enough

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lunarsee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2019
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Why did the musician walk instead of driving his car?

He'd driven over something sharp and got his tire flat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wotah_Bottle_86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2019
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What kind of cheese should not be tossed around or played with?

Sharp cheddar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xevetv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2019
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My son, who's studying ancient Greek culture in school, got me again.

In the kitchen this morning, he tells me: "Dad, you know the Spartans were really fierce, and they'd throw away old weapons. They thought that if it wasn't sharp, it didn't have a point."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2017
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Why was the programmer always running into walls?

He couldn’t see sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2019
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Why do Pencils shave?

To look sharp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bcubed1812
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2019
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Be careful about handling blocks of cheese.

Some of them might be sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2019
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What did the programming teacher say to his students?

I see sharp students in this class!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aevyian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2019
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An out-of-tune love song

Plenty of Fish in the C-Sharp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2019
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What's the number one cause of getting cut in the kitchen?

Sharp Cheddar

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cXoXdXy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2019
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Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gl3nnsth3man
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2019
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why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?

Invitation said to look sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chexmp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2019
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My Dad drops this gem going through airport security.

Airport Security: Do you have anything sharp on you?

Dad: Yes, my brain.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mvpking
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2015
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Cheddar is the most dangerous cheese

It's sharp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/radbme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2020
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I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.

I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03 2019
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