19 Hilarious A sharp Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".

" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.

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📅︎ Dec 08 2020

Just a moment ago, my hands began to convulse, my fingernails turned into sharp talons, my palms became thick, hairy, and tough. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and the feeling went away

I just had two paws for a moment

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👤︎ u/icemage27

📅︎ Apr 24 2021

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A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...

The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"

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👤︎ u/ReceptionSweet383

📅︎ Mar 20 2021

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I am waiting to recover from injuries caused by a small sharp tool:

Time heals awl wounds.

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👤︎ u/RabbitsAteMySnowpeas

📅︎ Dec 16 2020

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A sharp mind has placed this here

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👤︎ u/itsyerboiTRESH

📅︎ Feb 20 2020

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When early man discovered that they could use sharp stones for hunting, it was a big deal.

It was cutting edge technology

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👤︎ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24

📅︎ Feb 10 2020

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Why can’t a reed knife be too sharp?

Because that’s not natural

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👤︎ u/mrdangwangpang

📅︎ Apr 22 2020

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My daughter pointed at a spear and said “daddy look it’s sharp”

I replied with “that’s the point”

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👤︎ u/lZombieChaserl

📅︎ Jan 09 2020

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What do you call a sharp dot who points out directions for blind people

A pointy point who has no point in pointing

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👤︎ u/casecracker108

📅︎ Dec 19 2019

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You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round!

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Apr 27 2019

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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a sharp dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

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👤︎ u/khaosktrl

📅︎ Dec 30 2017

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On the dad joke scale, I got my first ever eye-roll and sharp exhale WITH a walk out of the room from my wife!

Me: Today was an awful day at work

Wife: Are you serious? Tell me about it

Me: I’m not Sirius, I’m your husband. And Itt was a short, hirsute creature who looked short of like a haystack with sunglasses; he was Gomez’s cousin and spoke in high pitched gibberish all the time. Now if we could get back to my day...

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👤︎ u/mfitzy87

📅︎ Aug 22 2019

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What’s the difference between a sharp dressed fellow on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed one on a tricycle?

A tire.

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👤︎ u/13FoxDan

📅︎ Aug 17 2019

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Made a shirt out of thumb tacks because I wanted to look sharp...

But everyone said it was tacky.

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👤︎ u/BlackEyedBroad

📅︎ Jun 28 2018

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I am busy wrting a sharp joke , I just need to reword it

ti

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👤︎ u/punnycobi

📅︎ Nov 10 2018

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A sharp pencil said to the eraser "people sharpen pencils so they can use them a long time."

The eraser replied "you have a point."

-As told to me by seven-year-old Gibson M. L.

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👤︎ u/ucom1

📅︎ May 01 2018

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A sharp pencil

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👤︎ u/CastYourBread

📅︎ Mar 03 2014

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What do you call a Filipina with something sharp in her eye?

A pinay

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👤︎ u/Ohdaswet

📅︎ Nov 03 2017

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What do you call a sharp, Native American, ghost?

Pokey-haunt-us.

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👤︎ u/MasterExploder6

📅︎ Aug 10 2017

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