Slow swimmers.
Because he has a seal on his chest.
One shark hands the other one a small packet full of some suspicious white powder.
"That's some fishy business" the man remarks.
Stop pretending.
The cari-BOO
Catherine: Dylan.
A prawn shop.
The swimmer
Tell-tale sign
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.
Just for the halibut.
>!Because it wanted more porpoise in its life!<
Shark Week 🦈
Together they make one hell of a shark-hootery board.
If Seal is broken do not consume
Achilles' eel.
Because something smelled fishy about it!
I got this joke in a dream
Crippling debt.
what a waist..
It was well armed.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡It vanished into fin air
A sharkuterie board.
Officer Mackerel turns to Officer Shark and says: "There's something fishy about this crime sea-n."
We're toast exclaimed the first man, the second man, sighing with relief, replied I was worried for a second there good thing sharks are carnivores!
The Okay White.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
He was a dumb bass
She hopes it's a buoy
Hi,
I'm going with the young'uns to the Audubon Aquarium in a few months and am looking for some Aqua jokes to torment them with as we walk the various tanks.
I have these two:
Old MacDonald had a dolphin, E E E E E
Why do sharks like saltwater? Pepper water makes them sneeze
Because he knew the octopus was well-armed.
Yes I do, do do do do do do!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Look at me!!! A man eating shark!!!
Stop pretending.
If seal is broken, do not consume.
Do not consume if seal is broken
It was well armed!
It cost him an arm and a leg...
...It wanted captain crunch for breakfast.
My 12 year old daughter hit me with this one this morning.
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Because it was well armed.
