The Runners Puns

A list of puns related to "The Runners"

Why did the distance runner buy a new pair of shoes?

It would be helpful in the long run.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/ryxnisfy
📅︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do runners eat the day before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

👍︎ 83
💬︎
👤︎ u/expired_lemonade
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the speed runner beat the world record on hair stylist simulator?

He took a shortcut.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/BinaryPeach
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
"What can you offer this restaraunt as the new food runner?"

"Well, I bring a lot to the table for starters.

👍︎ 63
💬︎
👤︎ u/iwrestledmeonce
📅︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

👍︎ 15
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the injured runner who got last place in the competition?

I guess he was a sore loser.

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/ToonyCream
📅︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad recieved a phone call from the magazine "Runner's World"

women on the phone asks:

  • "is (mother) home?"
  • dad: "no, she just ran off"
  • women: "oh, ok"

I dont think she got it.

edit: This is actually funnier how he said it in dutch (our native language). his words were "ze heeft ze benen genomen" which literally means " she has taken the legs".

👍︎ 875
💬︎
👤︎ u/fireflaai
📅︎ Mar 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?

They fast during Lent!

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Nearing the finish line, a marathon runner was so driven to win, that even when he pooped his pants, he continued on. When asked what he felt at that crucial moment, he replied...

"Undeterred" / "Undie turd"

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/p_noid
📅︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to the runner who had his feet reattached?

He was undefeeted.

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/vanilla_almond
📅︎ Jul 17 2018
🚨︎ report
The baseball commissioner's new rule on runners attempting to steal second seems wrong

It's just way off base

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A runner had to pick up the pace

It fell on him

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/K_Al-Shaya
📅︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the runners up award at an astronomy competition?

A Constellation prize

👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/killerflyingsquirrel
📅︎ Dec 23 2014
🚨︎ report
At work in a restaurant, the food runner dropped a to-go container for an order

So I said "You butternut squash it!"

And they still wouldn't send me home

👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/trent_pee
📅︎ Sep 03 2016
🚨︎ report
[daily jumble] After his heart surgery, the marathon runner was happy to once again be a...

...pace-maker

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/bbbbirdistheword
📅︎ Apr 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Figured I'd share the Dad joke I told to my fellow runners while running an endurance course.

I ran a local Tough Mudder-like race in September (called Boldr Dash) which featured many obstacles over a four mile course. One of the obstacles was a huge ladder made out of tires that we had to climb up and over. While waiting my turn to climb it, I turned to the line and said "I hope nobody's TIRED!"

The combination of fatigue and disgust at my joke was everyone's reaction. A group groan, it was beautiful!

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/RealSteele
📅︎ Nov 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.