Did you hear about the lawsuit against the rock band U2?
The plaintiffs lost the case because their lawyer was pro Bono
Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?
Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!
I’m voting for the Rock for president..
Terrorist walks into a bar and orders a vodka on the rocks
Bartender picks up a piece of ice, and asks "you like ice?"
Terrorist says "Yes, but more than one would be nice"
Bartender grabs another piece of ice and asks "so, you like ices?"
Why did Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s family get tested for COVID-19
They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
A ghostly apparition of the rock band Procol Harem appeared on my bedroom wall.
I turned A Whiter Shade of Pale when I saw it.
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.
So I order a drink on the rocks with a hint of citrus...
I was given a drink with limestone.
Geologists know all the rocks, anthracite many from memory.
Where’s the best place to play a rock concert?
Do you know about the rock band that has 4 men who don't sing
They're called Mount. Rushmore
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.
It was my climb-it change.
Why did Drake dig up and mash potatoes with a rock at the same time?
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
The Rock announced that he, his wife, and their 2 daughters have recovered from Covid.
They first suspected they had it when no one could smell what he was cooking.
What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?
Why didn’t the geologist care about his foliated metamorphic rock?
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?
He wasn't "granite" permission.
Did you hear about the wimpy rock?
Fortunately, he got boulder.
Straight, neat, or on the rocks?
Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?
My deaf friend: heard immunity
Why did The Rock break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for granite.
Did you hear the sad news about the free-solo rock climber that fell to his death?
It’s a real shame because he was such a down-to-earth guy.
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
The Rock always say " Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?"
He is always cooking because he's always hungry for Samoa
Went fishing with a friend that wanted to throw rocks into the lake
I told ‘em we should just skip it
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson showed me pictures of his kids on his phone.
He was pretty sedimental.
Went to the Police Station yesterday and started singing Rock a bye baby.
The Sargent stopped me and said, "No sir, we need an alibi."
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
What did the rock say to the flower ok bloomer.
Is the anime good? I dunno but the manga rocks.
What is the most wanted criminal rock?
What is the electrician's favorite rock band?
I don't know, they are all individuals who have their own taste in music.
Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"
Edit: get consent people
"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"
What did the geologist say when he collected 69 rocks?
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied Dwayne Johnson
Walked by a house with a broken window and a sign in the window saying "don't rock the boat".
Looks like somebody rocked your house
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but don’t sing?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
