Just a friendly reminder to not drop the soap

Picking it up can be a pain in the ass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bucky_pro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
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not only is it a pun based on the song "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, it's also a good reminder on how to pronounce the word coelacanth (seeΒ·luhΒ·kanth)!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aloees
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Reminder: Please don't include the punchline in the topic.

Howdy punsters!

Please remember when posting to /r/puns that the punchline should be in the post itself, not the topic. Puns should be self-explanatory. If you have to explain it, please do so in the comments. We've had a lot of puns lately, especially images, ruined before clicking on them when the whole thing was spoiled in the topic line.

Up to now, we've been assigning "for shame" flair when this happens, but it's become very common lately. As a result, posts with punchlines in the topic will be removed.

Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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Just a reminder, make sure you walk down the stairs in the morning.

If you don't, you might not have a descent day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunaRayn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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A friendly reminder to use the 20 20 vision joke until you physically can't

U only have few hours

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blokay_da_hech
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Watching the ball drop is a reminder of what I did all last year
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..

..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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Reminder: You now all have the opportunity to use one of the oldest dad jokes in the book - "I haven't _______ all year!"

Examples:

  • I haven't seen you all year!
  • I haven't eaten all year
  • I haven't slept all year

And variants thereof.

Happy New Year :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RomanAbramovich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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I was recently reminded that the difference between a fart and a pun…

…is a sudden shift of wit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/collisionbend
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2021
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I'm reminded of the time the King was saved in battle by his grandchildren

He had heir support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Likely_not_Eric
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
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Remind me not to pillow fight with the wife...

Currently sat in hospital with a concushion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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Live reporting! Proud Dad Moment Just Now. Daughter to me while vigorously moving a bottle of Dasani, "I'm making holy water!". Me: "How?"

Daughter: "I'm shaking the hell out of it"

Side note. The me, "how?" reminded me of how, mostly in Northern British English (where the aitches are frequently dropped) , you can do the joke about speaking like a cat.

Side side note. This then reminded me about the audio joke about a cat on a motorcycle.

Side side side note. This, for some totally unknown reason, then got me thinking about two nuns on bikes riding down a cobbled street.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BXCellent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2021
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This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 Election

But a lot less Gore-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Cristiano Ronaldo phones up Buckingham Palace and asks to meet the Queen

...since he is a megastar with lots of clout, Buckingham Palace agrees and a few days later he gets his meeting with her.

"Your Majesty, a couple of months ago you ennobled an eye scientist for his contributions to ophthalmology," said Cristiano. "I saw it on TV and was touched by his story, how he grew up in poverty but eventually became this great and learned man. He reminds me of myself a bit, how I grew up poor but managed to become a great footballer."

"So," says Cristiano, "I decided to write a play about him, all about the study of eyes and how they work as well as the scientist's life story. I have brought the manuscript to you, so that you can deliver it to him in person."

Cristiano hands the Queen the manuscript that he is carrying. The Queen squints at his handwriting on the front page of the manuscript..."I'm going a little blind," she says, "please could you tell me what it says here?"

Cristiano replies, "Eye Play for Man You Knighted."

"Yes I know that, you idiot," replies the Queen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RisibleComestible
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2021
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I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....

Those were the GOODYEARS.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffro4140
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Cemeteries remind me of the TV show Cheers.

It's a place where everyone knows your name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aagistar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Neowise should remind redditors that the best jokes are in space...

Because the best jokes are always in the comets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ponderingfox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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LA traffic is reminding me why it's called the 405

Because anywhere you go, it takes 4 or 5 hours

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πŸ‘€︎ u/egg27015
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Ms. Richie: Hey, remind me what comes after Do and Re on the musical scale?

Lionel: Hello, is it Mi you are looking for?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year ...

Or they might get autumn'y ache.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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The Best Defense, Is A Good Offense

(Edit: added example of the problem at the bottom of the text)

BLUF: What are good retorts to the, "Hi [name], I'm Dad" classic?

I don't usually dabble in the dark arts of dad joke combat, but it's important to know how to defend yourself, especially on this sub.

My kids have begun to develop a calloused approach to my classic zingers and instead seek vergence, using my own spells against me now.

While I'm very proud of them for getting me with the same "Hi, I'm [name]" joke, there has to be a way to defeat it. Plus I need to remind them, that such power is not theirs to wield.

Dads of Reddit, what should I say back when they get me?

---EXAMPLE (True story)---

Me: No, we'll play that tomorrow. It's too late and I'm really tired right now.

Child: Hi really tired right now, I'm [name]

Me: Stunned yet proud silence <-- fix this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exce1siur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2021
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I was the teller of Dad Jokes in the relationship

Female here. Even before me and my ex had our son. I was the one telling the dad jokes. Still am--and still getting hell for it, but this was one of my favorites that I was just reminded of...

While going to bed...:

Me: (struggling to untangle bed sheet) Man, I can't believe this sheet...

Ex: (sighs at the pun) Shut up.

Me: (still struggling) This sheet's crazy!

Ex: I'm warning you...

Me: (laughing hysterically now, I've lost my mind) Why? Is it because--

Ex: Don't_you_dare!

Me: Is it because you think these jokes are--pillow me? (ducks under sheet...and gets smacked in the head)

Totally worth it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alorrin07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2021
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I keep having to remind my wife & kids not to throw aluminum in the regular trash.

Their commitment to recycling is uncanny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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That reminds me of the joke about the bed...

oh wait it hasn't been made yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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Three brothers stranded on an island come across a magic lamp.

The eldest brother picks it up, rubs it, and a genie pops out. "Alas, you have freed me!" he said. "For my freedom i shall grant each of you a wish." The first brother knew exactly what he wanted. "I wish i was home!" In a flash, he disappeared. The genie then looked to the middle brother. "I wish i was home too!" In another flash of light, he was gone. The youngest brother sat and began to cry, now being all alone on the island. He bawled his little eyes out before crying out "I wish my brothers were back."

Thanks u/Nightmuse11 for their joke reminding me of this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_irishboi_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2021
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Just wanted to remind everyone of all the hard work the significant others of superheroes do. They deal with so much, have to be in their shadow, yet still stand by them...

They really are fucking heroes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uingsz
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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At the zoo I was reminded that my husband is a Dad

There was a zoo employee holding a polar bear foot for children to touch. As he pushed the stroller past, my husband paused, leaned towards him, and said, "aren't you chilly? You have bear feet!"

Then he grinned and laughed. I wasn't quite close enough to hear the setup, so he even got to repeat the joke for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatgirlstargazer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
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Every time I leave my house in the winter it reminds me of a jalapeΓ±o.

Because its a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHIL-yes-PLZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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I decided to make some chai tea the other day but I failed miserably. It tasted awful and burnt. But then I reminded myself...

If at first you can't make tea, chai, chai, again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MandolinMusic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Newegg customer service rep reminded me that there was a brief survey at the end of the call.

I responded, "Sorry ma'am, I only wear boxers."

after a long sigh "Very well sir.. have a good day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggy_Brohdletine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.

It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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I'm reminded of the man who rode a bike, made from scavenged trash, to work every day

he called it recycling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sitting on the sofa with my wife last night, when I said, "Honey, you remind me of an onion."

She smiled, blushed a little and asked, "Why? Because I have so many layers to my personality!?"

"No."

"Oh, OK, something stupid like, you'll cry when you slice me up?!"

"Nope."

"OK! OK! You'd prefer it if I was battered?!"

"Nah."

"You either love me or hate me? I'm good in small doses? I can be a bit overpowering?!"

"No, no and no!"

Exasperated, she shrieked, "Oh, all right then, why?!"

"You smell like an onion!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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Reminded of when my dad saw The Mist

A while back my parents had a night out and they'd mentioned they would probably go to a movie, so when they got home I asked them which one they saw:

Mom: That Stephen King one, The Mist, I think.

Me: I wanted to see that sometime, how was it?

Dad: It was entertaining, but to be honest I thought it might have been a little over cast.

-Cue boisterous laughter and counter top slapping-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconGristle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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I once tried smoking

It all went Dunhill from there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Punnier_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Seeing people in the sub-zero cold, I'm reminded of a Kanye chorus

How can you be so hatless?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plasker6
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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Me and my SO went too Lapland, she said something reminds her of back home (the UK).

I replied "it must be the rain dear".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghost_Brain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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The recent post about the "Quackopotamous" reminded me...

When I was a wee lad, about 5 or 6 , my dad and I went to the beach on a vacation. I, having never seen the ocean, learned many new things, like how tides work, and how there's seemingly billions of white flying rats that the world calls Seagulls.

Fast forward a few weeks to us being back home in Kansas City, MO where no beaches or seagulls are to be found. My dad and I were running errands and found ourselves at the local Target, where in the parking lot I spotted dozens of white birds that looked eerily similar to the Seagulls I had learned about weeks before.

"Dad, what're those?" I inquired

"Oh, son those are called Parkinglotgulls. Yeah they're close cousins of the seagull!"

And that's how I came to call those white birds that flock around parking lots worldwide "Parkinglotgulls" even to this day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monroeshton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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What do you call a snake that cleans windows?

A vindow viper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeysaurrr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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