What do you call the process of taking fish out of the sea?
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︎ Nov 18 2022
Iβm trying to convince my fellow Americans to adopt the metric system. Itβs a slow process
but weβre centimetering closer every day.
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︎ Nov 13 2022
I was testing my son on the process of photosynthesis and asked him whatβs stomata?
My wife chimes in βnothinβ! Whatβs stomata with you?β
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︎ Aug 15 2022
Has anyone else found themselves struggling to process the news about those hikers mauled to death by a gummy-bear?
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︎ Jun 06 2022
had something of a shower thought Why is the process of sealing food in a jar called canning, shouldn't it be jarring?
But if you call it jarring, that would be uncanny...
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︎ May 10 2022
My SO is currently in the process of becoming an Ophthalmologist and she has been woking on jokes for her patients and co workers.... She just made me proud.
SO: Where do Rainbows go when they are bad?
Me: Idk you got me on that one..
SO: They go to Prism......
*crickets chirping*
SO: but dont worry its just a LIGHT sentence!
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︎ Aug 15 2021
I got my 6 year old so good and she actually understood it. I cracked myself up in the process
I was holding my daughter in the living room and she saw the jewelry making kit she got for Christmas. She asked me to make her a necklace.
So I immediately dropped her.
She held on to me and dangled with her arms around my neck.
"There, you're a necklace."
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︎ Feb 06 2022
I was originally skeptical when the scientist told me he had developed a process that could turn men into mice...
But his demonstration gave me paws.
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︎ Mar 16 2022
What's the process of quitting marijuana called?
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︎ Jan 20 2022
When your mom or dad is in the process of changing their gender
Then they're semi-transparent
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︎ Mar 18 2022
Petco wanted to open a restaurant to keep profits flowing during the pandemic. But they couldnβt decide on a good name... To keep the planning process moving they decided on a name that matched their pricing plan:
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︎ Apr 02 2022
What did the American say to the Thai immigrant while taking him through the process of becoming an American citizen?
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︎ Jan 13 2022
My friend told me after a long process, the contractors are starting to work her house siding finally
I responded "How ex-SIDING"
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︎ Nov 20 2021
Last year I attempted to prevent a bank robbery and was shot in the process
Luckily the bullet was deflected by the loose change in my breast pocket, you could say it was my life savings
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︎ Oct 20 2021
If the process of decaffeinating coffee beans means being doused in formaldehyde...
Does that make them Coffinated?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Currently in the process of uniting a kingdom
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︎ May 15 2020
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
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︎ May 01 2021
When no one is around, I would loudly describe the process of cutting down a single tree.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
If anyone could just reverse the process of making wine, that would be grape.
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︎ Mar 16 2018
Weβre in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that sheβs not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.
I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
I've discovered the exact process by which a woman becomes a thot, but I'm having issues explaining it.
No one can follow my thot process.
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︎ Dec 19 2018
A friend of mine was discouraged that they couldn't come up with dad jokes. I told them anyone can make dad jokes, you just have to stretch out the thought process a little father.
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︎ Aug 07 2019
Frequent nap taking slows the aging process.
Especially if you take them when you are driving.
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︎ May 27 2019
I read a very interesting ancient Egyptian blog post describing the embalming process
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︎ Jun 30 2020
The chemist who created the periodic table was stumped during his process of developing the table. Suddenly, he realized:
He was missing a key element the whole time
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︎ May 12 2020
I created a Linux background process for the Message Analysis Test Tool.
I call it the MATT DAEMON!!!
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︎ Jul 16 2020
I just finished a great documentary about the process by which metal sheets are fastened together with steel bolts.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
The process of adding puns to a sentence should be called puntuation
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︎ Aug 29 2018
Got bored in the process
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︎ Nov 28 2018
What do you call it when you use explosives in the process of building things?
Weapons of Mass Construction
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︎ Oct 27 2017
I'm in the process of writing an extraordinary telescope joke.
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︎ Nov 02 2018
What is the process by which cells do not replicate
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Scientists have learned how to send humans into the future. Unfortunately, the process causes the subject's bowels to release uncontrollably.
It's a real blast from the past.
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︎ May 07 2018
When obese people start to change, which countries help them in the process?
The supportive friend: "U-K?"
The advice friend: thinland
The personal trainer: Core-ia
And the health specialist: Germ-any.
Feel free to add more.
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︎ May 13 2017
A ventilation system failed during the cleaning process in an industrial coffee roster at work today...
Everyone was sent to the lunch room until the production area was clear of smoke. I told a colleague on the way out that today everyone gets a smoke break!
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︎ Jun 19 2017
If someone could just reverse the process of making wine...
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︎ Jul 31 2018
If anyone could reverse the process of making wine, that would be grape.
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︎ May 25 2018
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