The scissors I bought for cutting paper works really well

You could say... This paper scissors rocks

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shuihoppy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2021
🚨︎ report
The mighty Dwayne Johnson!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Dwayne Johnson is a master of origami...

As his apprentice, I once assisted him at an exhibition and managed to lose the cutting implement he uses to prepare the paper for folding. I can’t believe I lost The Rock’s Paper Scissors.

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
At an auction at a Tourette's syndrome charity, I won a bid for an origami sculpture of scissors made by Dwayne Johnson. To emphasize the charity's cause, he replaced a bad word with a family-friendly word on his origami scissors.

The Rock's paper scissors said "Shoot."

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Your mom and I need privacy!

Got wife good tonight. She had just laid out all the kid's Xmas presents in the guest room with sacks and wrapping paper, scissors, etc and instructed me how she wanted it done.

Then our daughter barges in. Wife scrambles to cover the gifts. So I say:

> "Mommies and Daddies need privacy sometimes. We have sacks in here!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xstreamly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.