A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
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π
︎ Mar 03 2021
I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.
I asked him about it and that was a mistake.
He just kept droning on and on!
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 10 2021
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 17 2021
She won't let the other guys score
π︎ 70
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︎ Nov 29 2020
My kid wanted to talk to ghosts; we found three guys willing to intervene. One was very tall, one was very short and the other was mid-sized.
I chose the 3rd guy as he was the medium.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Some guy told me the other day that he is a "grower". I asked him to explain what that meant.
He gave me the long and short of it.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 09 2020
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand-new Rolex."
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 29 2020
I donβt care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy Iβve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 23 2020
What did one French man say to the other French guy.
I donβt know. I donβt speak French.
π︎ 97
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︎ Apr 11 2020
I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.
Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"
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︎ Jul 18 2020
A man was attacked by a guy with an upholstery nail gun the other day.
He's okay. He's recovered now.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 02 2020
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of βbird strikes.β
I honestly didnβt think they could hold signs.
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 21 2020
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
π︎ 2
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︎ May 11 2020
I saw a french guy playing with his dog at the beach the other day
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Some guy injected my dog with napalm the other day.
I think he was Vietnam vet.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
I had a guy come up to me at the store the other day as I was browsing the candy section and proclaimed "I refuse to eat Werther's originals!" Confused, I asked "Why's that?"
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 30 2019
To get a girl, some guys use pick up lines. Others rely on the attraction of their car
So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases
π︎ 70
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︎ Feb 21 2019
I was having an argument and the other guy went off on a tangent
I said: Hey, man, whats your angle?!
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 30 2019
I met a Dutch guy with inflatable shoes the other day and arranged to have dinner with him
Unfortunately he popped his clogs
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 22 2019
I was walking down the street the other day and a guy threw milk, yogurt and cheese at me..
I just thought how dairy.
π︎ 31
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︎ Dec 17 2018
Two chinese guys break into a distillery, one asks the other βis this whisky?ββ
The other replied βyes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bankβ
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 29 2019
To the guy who stole my antidepressants the other day.
I hope youβre happy now.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
I saw that Dirty Jobs guy the other day, and I said hi, expecting a reply
Instead he gave me a microwave.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
I met the guy who invented windowsills the other day
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 11 2019
This bald guy walked in to my work the other day JUST to say this:
Him: Is there any tattooists in town?
Me: Fairly sure there is one guy about 10 minutes out...?
Him: Oh good! 'Cause I want him to tattoo a rabbit on the top of my head.
Me: ..Why...?
Him: 'Cause then someone might mistake it for a hare!
He giggled his way out
π︎ 2k
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︎ May 25 2014
βDad, I heard that the only way you guys could communicate with each other when you were young was landlines and snail mail.β
Dad: No, you better get your fax straight.
π︎ 49
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︎ Feb 24 2019
The guy who invented the USB died the other day.
When the coffin was lowered they realized that it was the other way around, so they took it up, turned it and inserted it correctly
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 30 2019
Had colonoscopy the other day and laid this one on the doctors while waiting to pass out: I'm gonna put you guys down in my resume as references.
You are the only people who really know me inside out.
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 17 2019
The other day, I saw a guy pooping on a car in a parking lot.
If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 04 2019
Why was Thor mad at the guy quietly chilling at the other side of the bar?
π︎ 23
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︎ Feb 20 2018
Two guys are talking about life and one asks the other, βso, what do you do?β The other guy says βI own a chocolate factory and employ a bunch of oompah loompasβ
The first guy replies, βOh, Willy?β
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 09 2018
Did I tell you guys about the extremely rude cactus I met the other day?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 09 2017
Belle shouldn't have chosen the Beast. The other guy was a much better cook.
He had experience in molecular Gastonomy.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 31 2018
My Dad went out with a couple of guys called Barry Allen the other night.
He said it turned into a flash mob.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 30 2017
What did the frat guy say when the other frat guy offered him a pamphlet?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jun 09 2017
Saw a guy with one arm fishing the other day
He caught a fish this big
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 26 2017
Walking my two Jack Russell Terriers the other day, and I bump into a guy who asks "Are those Jack Russells?"
π︎ 5
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︎ May 02 2017
Two guys were fighting. One with a whisk, the other with a beater.
They were having an eggs utensil conflict
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 19 2016
My dad has an Instagram account. He posted this the other day and I thought you guys would enjoy.
Link to screenshot of photo
For those of you who don't click the link; it's a picture of my dad with a big piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear. The caption reads: I went to the doctor because of an ear problem. The doctor said, "It appears as though you have lettuce in your ear."
"Oh no," I said, "Is it serious?"
"Sorry but," the doctor said, "I'm afraid it's only the tip of the iceberg!"
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 10 2014
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand new Rolex."
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
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