Some guy the other day told me he likes to listen to Partynextdoor
I told him he should knock on their door and ask if he can join
I was walking down the road the other day eating a packet of raisins and a guy came up to me and said I’ll swap you 20 sultanas for your raisins
I couldn’t believe the current exchange rate
A guy in a plane stood up and shouted “HIJACK!” All passengers got scared. Then from the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back,
I saw this guy the other day who looked just like a German Shephard
I guess it was all the sheep he was hanging out with.
When I was at the airport the other week, a guy collapsed on the carousel
He seems alright now, he’s coming around slowly
I was talking to a guy the other day and he said my ear ring is terrible
What an idiot! I don't even wear ear rings
I met this guy the other day, felt real bad for him, clearly out of his mind on drugs AND he had a lisp
I'll tell ya that guy was methed up
Just want to tell that guy I met the other day, who is trying to find a source of water for his village
I heard a story the other day about a guy who got his right hand cut off...
Apparently his other hand is all that was left.
I came across a podcast the other day hosted by a guy who dresses like a nun.
It's called "Transistor Radio".
I was standing at the bus stop the other day and some guy asks "could you tell me how long the next bus is?"
I replied "The same length as the last one mate".
I was walking around downtown the other day and I saw a clown doing balloon animals; he had a sign that said "Rob The Balloon Guy".
So I looked at the sign, looked at him, and shrugged my shoulders. Then I beat the crap out of him, stole his wallet and took all his stuff. Maybe he should put a different sign out there.
Was in Paris the other day when a screaming naked guy barged past me and jumped into the river.
The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
I went to lunch with this European guy the other day. The waiter heard his accent and asked "what accent is that?"
The guy must've gotten really uncomfortable with the question because he then asked for the check
What did one French guy say to the other French guy?
I don't know. I don't speak French.
A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.
I asked him about it and that was a mistake.
He just kept droning on and on!
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand-new Rolex."
Some guy told me the other day that he is a "grower". I asked him to explain what that meant.
He gave me the long and short of it.
This bald guy walked in to my work the other day JUST to say this:
Him: Is there any tattooists in town?
Me: Fairly sure there is one guy about 10 minutes out...?
Him: Oh good! 'Cause I want him to tattoo a rabbit on the top of my head.
Me: ..Why...?
Him: 'Cause then someone might mistake it for a hare!
He giggled his way out
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of “bird strikes.”
I honestly didn’t think they could hold signs.
Some guy injected my dog with napalm the other day.
I think he was Vietnam vet.
I was walking down the street the other day and a guy threw milk, yogurt and cheese at me..
I just thought how dairy.
I had a guy come up to me at the store the other day as I was browsing the candy section and proclaimed "I refuse to eat Werther's originals!" Confused, I asked "Why's that?"
I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.
Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"
A man was attacked by a guy with an upholstery nail gun the other day.
He's okay. He's recovered now.
To the guy who stole my antidepressants the other day.
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
I saw a french guy playing with his dog at the beach the other day
I was having an argument and the other guy went off on a tangent
I said: Hey, man, whats your angle?!
I met a Dutch guy with inflatable shoes the other day and arranged to have dinner with him
Unfortunately he popped his clogs
I met the guy who invented windowsills the other day
I saw that Dirty Jobs guy the other day, and I said hi, expecting a reply
Instead he gave me a microwave.
The guy who invented the USB died the other day.
When the coffin was lowered they realized that it was the other way around, so they took it up, turned it and inserted it correctly
Why was Thor mad at the guy quietly chilling at the other side of the bar?
The other day, I saw a guy pooping on a car in a parking lot.
If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.
Two guys are talking about life and one asks the other, “so, what do you do?” The other guy says “I own a chocolate factory and employ a bunch of oompah loompas”
The first guy replies, “Oh, Willy?”
What did the frat guy say when the other frat guy offered him a pamphlet?
Belle shouldn't have chosen the Beast. The other guy was a much better cook.
He had experience in molecular Gastonomy.
What did one French man say to the other French guy.
I don’t know. I don’t speak French.
I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...
..it's a brand new Rolex."
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