During the monthly healing service, AJ asked if the preacher could help with his hearing. The preacher called him up, put one hand on AJs ear, one on his head, and began the prayer. The whole church joined in with great enthusiasm. The preacher looked AJ in the eyes and asked if the prayer helped.
With great excitement and a newfound enthusiasm for life AJ replied "the hearing isn't until Thursday, I'll let you know!"
I told my son if he farted in the car he would have to give me 10$ of his 100$ monthly allowance.
I always get my 10 Per-Scent
I wonder how much the monthly bill is for toilet paper at the hospital
Have you heard about the new subscription service, that Gary Lineker has launched? 28 portions of green tea delivered monthly.
It’s called Matcha the Day
I paid a car dealership a monthly fee to drive a car for 2 years then after that I would return the car to the dealer...
It was the leased of my worries.
Which monthly climate hits the most?
I kept receiving broken yo-yo's from the new monthly yo-yo subscription
Well, they said there weren't any strings attached
During what month do people sleep the least?
>!February, it's the shortest month after all.!<
Yesterday was the twenty THIRd day of the THIRd month of the twenty THIRd year of the twenty first century AND it was on a THURsday, making the one and only true thursday
I find it strange when people give the age of their child in months
But it doesn't bother me until they're 12 years old, then it's gross
What month is the best for drinking coffee
It was on the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month that I realized…
… I will never buy a cheap calendar again
For once month, the metric system should be replaced worldwide
It would be the Imperial March
My wife asked me to flip the calendar to the next month...
To my surprise, the calendar skipped from April to June. I turned to tell her we're missing a month.
She said, "What's the matter? You look dis-Mayed..."
She's apparently been waiting a month for this set up
I’m an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December..
In what month will you find the most drunk people?
My adorable three month old daughter thought about coming up with this joke today...Why did the little shrimp have trouble keeping friends?
Because she was shellfish.
Why is Pride month always in the summer?
Because Pride cometh before the Fall.
A month ago, I hired the wrong person for a position in the company. Now, I have a lot of problems.
Our company policy is clear, we must not fire the wrong person.
What shall I do ?
Last night I had a really nice glass of wine. The label said they fermented the grapes in natural oak for 3 months and concrete for two. I asked the host, "why concrete?", but they didn't know.
I said, "I bet it's to cement the flavor."
True story. First post here!
MC Hammer just got employee of the month at my local museum.
No punchline needed as you already know why he did.
Can someone tell me the month that comes after June? And be honest about it….
Pun help needed!
Hi! My husband is coming up on 3 months free of chewing tobacco and I'm trying to do a small gift joke/pun as a gift.
Most jokes or puns I find are "puff" related but chew is more of a spit/can pun needed.
Can you help?
Edit to add, he used grizzly and Copenhagen for the last 17/18 years.
Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.
Over the last couple of months, I have had multiple women call to tell me that they were just diagnosed with Herpes
Does this put me at risk for Hispes?
Did you know the Gregorian calendar originally different month names?
January was Greg, February was Ian then March was Greg and April was Ian and... and May is also Ian...
It makes no sense that October isn't the eighth month of the year and December isn't the tenth month.
Whoever messed that up should be stabbed.
My grandma is the opposite of tech savvy: it took her months to learn to use a mouse
But then it finally clicked
It was right under his nose🥸
I spent months learning to speak swan from a bird down by the lake to no avail
.... I should have known he was a quack
A few months ago, my wife decided to put a miniature Stallone doll on the middle of our bed.
Things have been Rocky between us ever since then.
I've been spending the vast majority of my time completely alone over the last 4 months...
I don't think I'm going crazy, but my imaginary friend tells me I may have a drinking problem.
After months of programming my robot to exercise, I gave up and threw it in the trash.
It just wasn’t working out.
What do they call employee of the month at the crematorium?
My doctor suggested that I start doing crunches so I've been doing crunches twice a day now for the last month.
Captain in the morning and Nestle in the afternoon. Not really sure how that's supposed to help but I like doing them a lot.
I’ve been writing letters to the creator of SNL for months and still no reply - I’m looking at this pile of mail and feeling the same way
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
the very peak of my existence about 6 months ago today
A prisoner spent a month digging an escape tunnel and finally came out in the playground of a preschool.
He jumped around with excitement yelling "I'm free, I'm free". A small girl looked up at him and said, "Big bloody deal, I'm four".
Bought our house a few months ago, had various issues with a couple of the interior doors and had to remove them. Now I’m….
Why did the scarecrow get employee of the month?
He was out-standing in his field.
My brother loved dad jokes
He passed away 2 months ago and I love seeing these dad jokes. He was the king of dad jokes in our family. So I just wanted to thank you guys for this Reddit
It's been months since I bought the book, "How to scam people online."
It still hasn't arrived yet.
Why don't you have as much money as you make at the end of the month?
This guy named Bill keeps taking it from you.
My coworker told me that one i can't take credit for it
A man got hit by a car and felt tired. A few months later he got hit by the same car again.
What's the cutest month of the year?
Last April I had triple pane, temperature sealed, eco-friendly windows put in the whole house!
Every month I get mail from the supplier, I toss it with the junk mail. They called me today, seemingly angry, claiming they kept sending me bills that I disregarded, and they wanted money! I said, "What are you bugging me for, the salesman said they would pay for themselves in a year, just wait a couple of months will you!"
I've been rubbing ketchup in my eyes every day for the past month.
In heinz-sight, probably wasn't a good idea.
My neighbor is going on a 3 month tour of the world in a submarine
Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.
Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar...
...I’m completely dismayed.
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
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