Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
It’s a 5 minute walk from my home to the local pub...
...and it’s a 30 minute walk from that pub back home.
The difference is staggering.
A friend told me that the ball drop was a minute late
The ball was dropped at the ball drop.
My Dad just said this one in the drive-thru not 2 minutes ago
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.
I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is highly overrated.
The longest I've ever made love for is 1 hour, 2 minutes and 32 seconds...
... I love it when the clocks go forward!
Did you know being a minute is the most dangerous job on the planet?
Because every 60 seconds, a minute passes
It took me 20 minutes to find the mollusk in my fish tank
It was very well clamoflaged
The inventor of Hard and Shoulders shampoo died. At the funeral, his wife gave a 20 minute moving eulogy...
There wasn't a dry scalp in the place!
I spent the past few minutes throwing chickpeas at my cat's feet...
I used the beans to bean the beans.
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
My wife has just gave birth at the hospital. I pulled the doctor away for a minute and asked "how soon do you think we will be able to have sex?"
He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
I took my wife to an orchard for her birthday and we stood there looking at the trees for about 30 minutes
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
The meeting was at 8 and I was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't 8:10 the meeting.
Why does the minute hate running marathons?
No matter how fast it runs, it's always 60 second...
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
It takes 10 minutes to walk to the bar, and an hour to walk home.
The difference is staggering.
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:
Speak now or forever hold your pee
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
Kroger is bringing their A game. Their Dr. Pepper knock off is called "The Fizzicist". Took me a minute to get it.
I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.
For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.
The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someone’s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.
That’s karma in real life
Me to my wife: Cool, the Grammies will only be on for a minute!
Her: looks at me, perplexed
Me: They just said it’s the sixty second Grammy awards...
Her: Get out
I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...
I should have known she'd try to Stahl...
What do you call hastily done noodles at the last minute?
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub, but a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
I was having dinner a few minutes ago, and I came to the conclusion that tofu is really overrated.
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.
It's a 5 minute walk to the bar, but a 35 minute walk home.
The difference is staggering.
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late to his first class, 8 minutes late to his second, and 4 minutes late to the third.
At this rate, he will never be in class on time.
My math professor was late 16 minutes for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.
It takes me 10 minutes to walk to the bar, but an hour to walk home.
The difference is staggering.
its a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub and a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
Its a 5 minute walk from my home to the pub
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my home.
The difference is staggering.
It’s a 5 Minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 Minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
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