My friends & family didnβt appreciate the hard work I put into this mall-evolently delicious quadruple-pun.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 27 2022
What does a house shop for at the mall?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 15 2022
Did you hear Elon Musk opened a storefront down at the mall?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 10 2022
Where do couples go in the mall to argue?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Nov 26 2021
Why did the Bee only shopping mall fail ?
because it was "A Bees Mall"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 20 2021
I went to the mall management yesterday to complain that one of their moving staircases was malfunctioning...
Things escalated quickly.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 11 2021
Sorry I didn't take you to see Santa at the mall.
I heard you're claustrophobic.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Oct 28 2021
Did you hear about the artist who got arrested at the mall today?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 31 2021
Went to the mall today & I came to a realization
My fear of moving stairs is escalating
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 05 2021
What is Sasquatchβs favorite store in the mall?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 31 2021
Itβs called βthe mallβ
Because instead of going to one store, you go to βthem allβ
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 01 2021
How do parents keep losing their kids at the mall?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 21 2021
I witnessed an interesting incident at the mall the other day
This guy walks out of a store screaming how they're cheats and frauds. He then proceeds to knock over a mannequin and a few other decorations.
He then buys a coffee, is a jerk to the cashier and then spills some on the floor. He walks away and snaps his fingers at the janitor to clean it up.
The last straw was when he walks up to a group of school kids and starts ranting about how they should drop out of school and rise up against the establishment.
Security finally escorted him out kicking and screaming. Finally things calmed down a bit.
All in all, it was just another dick in the mall.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 02 2021
How do parents lose their kids in the mall?
Seriously, any tips are welcome
π︎ 46
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
Moldova named the biggest mall in its capital malldova
π︎ 192
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
Whatβs the difference between a mall and a parked car?
π︎ 77
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
I met a woman outside the mall crying
She had lost $200, so I gave her $40 from the $200 I just found. When god blesses you, you must bless others.
Taken from dad jokes
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
I had an argument with my brother about how to get to the next floor in the mall because he refused to use the stairs or the elevator
My next thought was: "Well, that escalated quickly"
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 05 2021
Walking around the mall with my daughter and we decided to go down a level. She expressed disappointment the elevator was broken,
I told her, " The escalator is just like an elevator but with extra steps."
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
I once saw a woman punch a Mall Santa in the face.
But he did call her a "ho" like three times.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
What do you call a problem with the machinery at a mall?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
Why did the city support the music hall being repurposed as a shopping mall?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
First child born in a couple of weeks so I thought to give it the good ol try. Sometimes when Iβm down I go to the mall and use the elevator.
So it can lift me up and make my day better.
I tried to OC.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
What did the tree say when it ran into the mall?
Tina? Larry? Where is everybody?!? Oh my god, theyβre all gone!!! ... Oooh a sale!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
Well I was doing speedy shopping, until I stopped and had hat to break to see this. Quality puns at the mall.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
I tried to quell a disagreement between me and my girlfriend in the shopping mall. But by the time we got to the second level we were shouting at each other.
In retrospect we shouldnβt have been on that escalator.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
I bad to punch the mall Santa in the face...
He called my daughter a 'ho'! 3 times!!!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break
I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
My balding grandfather told me that there was an adept wigmaker at the mall.
The wigmaker offered me a good deal that I was willing toupee for.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 25 2020
Thereβs was a kidnapping in the mall yesterday!
He woke up.
(A true classic)
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
A teenager's car won't start out at the mall one night
He tries everything he knows to do, but finally calls his father for help.
Mom and Dad come up to mall parking lot, dad gets into the car, turns the key once, and the engine roars to life.
The teenager is shocked at how easy it was.
"Dad! What did you do differently? I tried everything!"
"It was easy son. I'm wearing my cargo shorts."
π︎ 52
π
︎ Apr 06 2019
There's a big space at the local mall where they're going to build a Starbucks. I suppose that space is now officially
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
I met Darth Vaderβs wife at the mall yesterday.
Nice gal, her nameβs Ella.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
Whoever called the loops in malls with restaurants "food courts" missed a huge opportunity. They ought to be cul-de-snacks.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jun 29 2018
Walking through the mall with my 9 yr old and a kiosk saleswoman waves a sample of lotion and asks 'A gift for your daughter?'
I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'
She thought that was pretty funny.
π︎ 82
π
︎ Mar 11 2019
My daughters asked me when we were going to the upper level of the mall.
I told them we had choices. We could esca-now, or escalator.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 14 2019
Have you seen the mall?
No, but I've seen most of 'em.
(My father used this one every time we passed an enclosed shopping center. I wanted to die.)
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
My eye doctorβs office is at the shopping mall.
Sheβs an Opthemallogist
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 14 2019
I heard someone stole a Shaggy CD from the mall
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
I saw Santa following me around in the mall, and I asked him why.
He said, βChristmas stalking.β
π︎ 39
π
︎ Dec 02 2018
My 3 year old got scared of the mall Santa. I guess heβs claustrophobic like his old man
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
Why is "the mall" called "the mall?"
Because you don't just shop at one store, you shop at THEM-ALL
π︎ 325
π
︎ Sep 28 2018
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