Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?

he had ... a reptile dysfunction

👍︎ 39
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
There are 4 lizards chilling in the ceiling, one of them did a back flip. How many are left in the ceiling?

None, as the rest clapped and cheered.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/Jumpman707
📅︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the zookeeper say when they discovered how bad the lizards smelled?

"Whew, what a skink!"

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
You know those birds and lizards that eat the decaying corpses of other animals?

Sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/LthlPnc
📅︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Which prehistoric lizard was the ugliest?

The Eyesaur

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the lizard cross the road?

To see his flat mate

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/mozzatits
📅︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
"It's getting late, put the lizard back in the tank." imgur.com/AHcg3vW
👍︎ 114
💬︎
👤︎ u/slamsen
📅︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My kids are so obsessed with the lizard from the movie Tangled, we have over a thousand figures of it around the house...

Let me tell you keeping track of a kilo of Pascals is a lot of pressure

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/mfitzy87
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling some really excellent jokes. I turned to the local tribesman and said "that lizard is really funny!" The tribesman replied "that's not a lizard... he's a stand up chameleon"
👍︎ 9
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call lizard that throws trash on the ground?

A litigator

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the broken lizard take viagra?

He had reptile dysfunction.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you drink while watching the lizards that live in the middle of tennis courts race their cars over rough terrain?

Net newt rally tea

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/thkoog
📅︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the lizard say to his wife?

lizard: I can't have sex anymore Wife: why not? theres nothing wrong with you is there? Lizard: thats exactly it. I was diagnosed with
a reptile dysfunction

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/zeusar
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The local reptile show had to delay on account of misbehaving lizards.

They had a severe case of a reptile dysfunction.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the girl play on her musical lizard?

The scales

👍︎ 131
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Lizards are particularly responsive to the sedative effects of chamomileon tea
👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/pnewell
📅︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the excited lizard say when he got off the ride?

Iguana do that again!

👍︎ 30
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Who is the head of the Lizard Mafia?

The Iguanodon.

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/Rossum81
📅︎ Nov 13 2017
🚨︎ report
How do the lizard people make new eggs?

They get illumi-naughty :p

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the zookeeper who couldn't keep his lizards alive?

He had a reptile dysfunction!

👍︎ 25
💬︎
👤︎ u/LtTentacle
📅︎ Mar 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the lizard go to the doctor?

Because he had Areptile Dysfunction.

👍︎ 47
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Why was the lizard's wife unsatisfied?

Her hubby had a reptile dysfunction.

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/MaxGhenis
📅︎ Dec 31 2014
🚨︎ report
I want to make a show in the same style as "My Cat from Hell", but make it about lizards instead.

I'll call it "A-Reptile Dysfunction".

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 13 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.