So I'm listening to music the other day when my wife comes home.
She asks, "Are you listening to Milli Vanilli?"
I said "Girl, you know it's truuuuuue!"
Listening to The Who Won't Fooled Again
We start talking about Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
"He must be a king."
"How do you know?"
"He 'asn't got shit all over 'im."
Dad says "CSI:Medieval!"
He laughed at his own joke so hard I thought he was going to hurt himself.
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
I was just sitting on the couch when my friend tells me, “your not even listening to me.”
I thought that’s a very weird way to start a conversation.
My wife looked at me the other day and said “You’re not listening to anything I’ve said!”
I said to her “There are better ways to start a conversation.”
I love listening to the can-can
Everytime it finishes, I turn it Offenbach on again
My wife just complained I wasn’t listening and walked out of the room
Weird way to start a conversation.
I once saw a little guy with a red pointy hat riding the D.C. subway, listening to some music, tapping his toes perfectly in time with the beat
He was the greatest Metro Gnome ever.
Driving down the road, listening to Disney songs. I look in my rear view mirror. My two-year-old is grooving. I ask her, "Aw, are you dancing?" And she replies,
I like sitting around the Christmas Tree listening to Slayer.
My 6 year-old got me this morning listening to "Black Widow" in the car.
Him - Why is it called "Black Widow, Baby"?
Me - Because Black Widows are notorious for killing their husbands.
Him - It should be called "Black Bear Pirate"
Me - Why?
Him - Because they say "You should've known better than to mess with me honey."
My wife crashed her Wrangler the other day listening to Adele.
She was rolling in the Jeep.
The other day I was listening to Freddy Mercury
Jk, I bought hearing AIDS
My dad asked me the other day: "Are you even listening to me?"
Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
I hate listening to the song 'Hello' on my laptop.
Maybe because it's a Dell.
I was listening to some of my all time favourites and saw this gem in the comments
I was listening to a podcast the other day
And it really spoke to me
What's the best laptop brand for listening to the song "hello"
The Doors, in 1966, heard the news about Buddhist monks performing acts of self immolation. After listening to what was occurring, they decided to make a heartfelt song to express their solidarity with the Buddhist plight.
And that’s why we have a song called “Light my Friar”.
I was listening to some inspirational CDs in the car.
They kept telling me to go the extra mile. So I did, and I got lost.
I can control the sheep in my farm just my listening to them.
I herd it with my own ears.
Dorothy was listening to Hold the Line when suddenly her music player broke.
Dorothy: Toto, I don't think we're in Africa anymore...
What did the man say after listening to his wall?
"One more crack like that, and I will plaster you."
What did you learn in the class about not listening?
I don't know. I wasn't paying attention, but I got an A+.
If you’re talking to the king’s son but he’s not listening, are you talking to the heir or the air?
So, I like listening to vinyl records and composing music on my Galaxy Tab with the S-Pen.
But my stylus is broken, so I can do neither.
Listening to the radio, my eldest asks: “What’s green energy?”
“Well see, you take blue energy and yellow energy and mix them together…”
And then my youngest adds in “Yea, yellow and blue make green!”
Eldest was unsatisfied with that answer.
I've been listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall lately and my friends tell me I need drugs to have a good experience with it
But I don't think I need anything at all.
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
I was listening to the radio...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Dad: I was just listening to the radio, a famous actress killed herself!
Mom: oh no! Who?
Dad: Um, I can remember! I think her name was Reese or something.
Mom: WHITHERSPOON?
Dad: No, it was with a knife.
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Dad: i was listening to the radio it says some actress killed her self
Me: OMG WHO
Dad: i dunno reese somthing
Me: WITHERSPOON
Dad: no with a knife
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
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