I’ve been cooking more lately, and I’ve finally discovered what a difference adding the right herbs can make.
Did you hear about the woman who cut her herbs with scissors?
She had a lot of thyme on her hands.
What do you call the head of the catholic church covered in flowers and aromatic herbs?
I went to the hippie bookstore to see Noam Chomsky give a lecture on linguistics. I was excited, so i showed up a bit early. When i arrived, there was already a jar of fresh herbs in line ahead of me. I guess it’s true what they say.
Thyme waits for Noam, man.
When I cut my hand in the garden I asked the herbs for help
Rosemary gave me some Sage advice - "Thyme is the greatest healer".
My boss asked me if I could finish restocking the herbs before I left.
I told him “no, I’m out of thyme.”
I told my wife, “From here on, I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order.”
She said, “Where will you find the time?”
Me: Easy. Right next to the sage.
Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...
That's pretty good thyme-Ming.
My wife just complained that I've been in the garden all day tending to the herbs.
Apparently I have way too much thyme on my hands.
I was at my parents house over the weekend. As a joke, I swapped all the labels around on their herbs and spices.
They haven’t noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.
Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee?
Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.
What do you call the King of herbs?
After many years of designing, the government has released a new type of currency made out of herbs.
They spent a lot of thyme on it, but now it's mint.
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
I’ve started growing herbs in my garden. To help identify them i’m growing them in alphabetical order. My neighbour asked me, how you find the time. I said, easy, it’s right here next to the sage.
the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me “you’re wrong about the parsley...
but that’s okay because you’re right on thyme”
Recently, I have started gardening and started to plant all my herbs in alphabetical order. People often ask how I find the time.
I tell them “it’s next to the sage”
My wife always thinks adding more herbs makes the food taste better.
She makes the same mistake; thyme and thyme again.
We tried planting some herbs in the back yard.
The basil has done fine, the other died. I turned to my wife and said, “well, there’s no thyme in quarantine!”
A woman once claimed she could hit me from across the kitchen with a fancy bottle of herbs.
I told her not to threaten me with a good thyme.
Things have been a bit tense with my wife, with both of us stuck in quarantine all the time. We even had an argument about herbs the other day.
To be honest, it was about thyme.
Did you hear about the herbs that were phoning everyone, trying to panic-buy all different sizes of measuring cups?
Desperate thymes call for disparate measurers.
As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...
I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.
Hear about the man who ate nothing but his friends herbs?
He's living on borrowed thyme...
Why does it take all afternoon to eat all of the herbs in the pantry?
Because it’s a thyme consuming activity.
It was my father's funeral today and my brother has been going round all the guests trying to tell them about his new fish and herbs recipe...
I eventually pulled him over and said "c'mon dude, there's a thyme and a plaice" but this is not it!
Buying herbs from the supermarket
I picked up two packets of thyme, turned to the woman next to me and said "we seem to be always running out of it".
She didn't smile
I told my wife, “I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.”
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “That should be easy. Next to the sage.”
I told my wife I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”
I told my wife I was going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order. She said "Where would you find the time ?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
I told my wife that I’m going to arrange all the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”
I told my wife that I'm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on. She asked, "Where will you find the time?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
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