Did you guys hear about the man who died in the fog?
Two guys walk into a bar. "Hey donkey get the beers in" shouts one guy to the other.
The barman says to the guy "That's a bit mean, why does he call you donkey?" and the man replies "It's OK, he aw ... he aw ... he always calls me donkey"
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartenders like “oh what an interesting companion you have there. What’s his name?” And the guys like “Tiny” and the Bartenders like “Whyd you name him that?”
He responds with “because he’s My Newt”
Are you guys aware of the benefits of dried grapes 🍇
You guys hear about the new Will Smith movie?
I heard it actually slaps!
Guys, yesterdy I heard this song that's about the road that leads to Ohio.
I think it was called Highway To Hell.
I’m not sure if this counts as a pun, specifically, but it’s in the family. You think Betty Crocker would supplement the Dunkaroos lineup and our guys could be the new “Skunkaroos” mascots?
reddit.com/gallery/yfr6ft
You guys hear the joke about the queue to get drinks at a party?
Do you guys think “why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes will still exist in the future?
Or will they go eggstinct?
Three vampires walk into a bar, the barkeep asks them "Whadyl' have tonight, guys?"
The first one says "I'll have an A positive."
Second one says "That sounds good, I'll have one too!"
Barkeep asks the third one "How about you?"
Third vampire says "Naw, that A positive is too heavy. I'll have an O negative."
The barkeep says "Coming right up - two bloods and a blood light!"
Why do the Daft Punk guys never cross their legs?
Are you guys watching the host country Qatar play the World Cup?
Did you guys hear about the kidnapping that happened at school?
Everything is fine, the kid woke up.
A conversation with the guys
Saw four guys walking around the cemetery carrying a coffin, drove by a few hours later and saw the same guys with the same coffin.
I thought to myself they've lost the plot.
Have you guys heard of the huge fire at the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
Did you here about the two guys who were forced to hang out??
I was driving by a FIVE GUYS today but I guess one of them quit because some of the lights the sign were out and it now says IV Guys.
The other guys is probably still Roman around.
Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar?
Did you hear about the employer that only hires guys with the name William?
Every time payday comes around he says "oh man, I gotta pay the Bills."
guys, someone from HR asked me to sign up for the company 401k and i'm really nervous
i don't think i can run that far
These lax bail laws are making criminals more bold and dangerous! Last week one of these guys even stole the toilets at the local precinct.
Right now the police have nothing to go on.
My father literally knows one joke, and he tells it with the same enthusiasm every time. I've heard it for the fifth time this year, so I'm gonna share it with you guys:
Did you know a moth hears with its wings?
Take a moth and tell it to fly. It will listen.
But remove its wings and tell it to fly. It does nothing.
Sorry. You see what I've got to put up with.
Two guys are walking down the street when a thug lunges from an alley and points a gun at them...
"Gimmie all your money, both of you! Now!" the thug says.Bill says, "Wait! Wait! Wait! Just a minute! Steve, here's that $200 I owe you!"
Don't be rude, guys... The server is down!
Have you guys seen that new Marvel show about the Mexican mathematician who discovered the inverse of multiplication?
I think it's called Juan Division
Did you guys hear the news about the yard stick factory?
They're not gonna make them any longer.
You guys hear about the burnt meat accused of a crime?
The cops just wouldn’t stop grilling it.
Did you guys hear about the guy who Evaporated?
guys at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a while he looks around the room and notices two guys hanging from the top of a window frame. "What's up with those guys?" he asks the bartender. "Oh ignore them," the bartender replies. "That's just Kurt and Rod."
Do you guys remember the chiropractor joke I put up
Got accosted by a bunch of guys proclaiming the end is nigh…
First one was positive for covid, the second one had laryngitis, next one a smoker’s cough and the last one had a sore throat…
I think they were the Four hoarse men of the apocalypse.
A husband says to his wife: “The guys at golf were saying that our mailman has slept with every woman on this street except one…” His wife replies:
Have you guys seen the movie "Constipation" ?
Probably not, hasn't come out yet. 😂
I appreciate you guys for explaining the word "many"
I'm gonna watch 2 guys duke it out in the Indian Boxing Championships this weekend.
Now that is a pun jab I would like to see.
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
Did you guys hear about the police arresting a bottle of water?
It was wanted in three states: solid, liquid and gas.
Hey guys, I need some more Halloween dad jokes! This one did pretty well when my kids were 3 & 5: Why did the monster go to the barber?
Because they needed a scare cut.
Did you guys hear about the kidnapping at school?
Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar?
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