We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Had a German sausage for the first time today,
When I was leaving home for the first time, my dad said to me, "Don't forget to write."
I thought, "That's unlikely. It's a basic skill, isn't it ?"
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.
I had the time of my life.
I tried baking for the first time.
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
Saw an escalator for the first time today...
The second time Hansel and Gretel found a house made of cookies and candy, they sent someone else in to test-nibble it first.
This technique became known as Munch Housen by Proxy.
I tried Yoga for the first time...
I'd say I enjoyed it, but that would be a stretch.
I remember the first time I used a dictionary...
It was a defining moment in my life.
I recently watched "Nosferatu" for the first time. Interesting. Now, I'm checking out "Nosfera 2: New Berlin-ings".
What did han solo say after he tasted wookiee for the first time?
Not bad but a little chewie
i remember the first time i got stabbed with a balisong
i had butterflies in my stomach
I tried finger food for the first time
Luckily I only used five so I could still hold it
Why did Chewbacca crash the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.
I tried street tacos for the first time and man they were awful
They tasted like asphalt!
What did Baby Yoda say the first time he watched The Mandalorian on a high-def screen?
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
First time I’ve seen a real bobcat in the wild.
The first time I used an elevator, it was kinda uplifting
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, I thought to myself,
The first time I seen my Wife was at the local Zoo. Our eyes met..
..and I knew She was a Keeper.
An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.
This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.
Joke by Terry Pratchett, ‘The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, “You’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”
Meat Grown in Space for the First Time Ever
I got to pour cement for the first time today.
The results were pretty concrete.
What happened when Einstein smoked pot for the first time?
Mankind attained its highest form of intelligence.
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.
Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.
I tried my wife's essential oils for the first time today.
Worst french fries I've ever had.
Have you heard the Lego store is open for the first time since the COVID shutdown?
They're lining up for blocks.
When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time...
When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn’t laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I’ve persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she’s in labor with our fourth and I’ve finally got her laughing...
I think I’ve really improved the delivery!
Did I do this right? I tried to do a name pun for the first time
As a colorblind man, i thought i saw red for the first time
Turns out it was only a pigment of my imagination
So I told my friend I was gonna watch Cars for the first time and he told me how it ends.
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"
I was awed first time I saw the room full of computers and servers...
It was such a pristine LANscape.
My family ate thresher shark for the first time yesterday. My dad took a bite and said
Look at me!!! A man eating shark!!!
The first time i used an elevator it was an uplifting experience
But the second time it let me down
Chewbacca crashed the Millenium Falcon the first time he flew it.
The first time I bought a universal remote control...
...I thought to myself "This changes everything."
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought to myself "Well, this changes everything"
What did baby Yoda say the first time he saw himself in 4K?
The first time I used an elevator..
Was a really uplifting experience.
The second time let me down.
The first time I used an elevator...
It was an uplifting experience, the next time it was a big let down
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
