After we awoke, my wife told me to put the dark roast on.
I told her that burning meat was a sin. When I came to she had moooooved out.
Why can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark
because it doesn’t have flash
I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.
Did you hear about the new dark and gritty direction Disney are taking?
Donald Duck will be playing a quack addict.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?
what did the lumberjack do when it got dark?
He took his axe and saw.
Edit: spelling.
Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?
Because it was the time of knights.
my son introduced me to dark humor the other day, i don't know why they call it "dark humor"
because they lighten me up
Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?
All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.
Simple solution to my fear of the dark
I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there
I've just discovered the Cantonese culture of doing maths in a dark room at breakfast
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
It would’ve been really dark if, when Snape was dying, Harry had said “now you’re really the half-blood prince”.
Because he only had half his blood left
My wife told me it's too dangerous to put away dishes in the dark
I said "it's a whisk I'm willing to take"
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
Everybody talks about the dark side of Reddit
Why was the cow scared of the dark?
The guy running my town is awful. He doesn’t respond to phone calls because he only works after dark.
He’s a total night mayor.
What's up with the dark jokes subreddit?
I don't see anything funny there.
Why should you always wear a condom when having sex with a member of the Dark Side?
Welcome to the Dark Slide
It's cold and dark outside, so I have drawn the curtains.
Why is the dark side of the moon dry?
Because the other side has all the moonshine
My daughter wanted to play hide and seek in the dark. I said "That means I would only be able to find you using sound ...
My Dad told me the other day he hates it when people use dark mode
so i called him a racist
p.s do i need to make this nsfw? i'm not sure so pls don't remove
If you look into the dark side
The dark side looks black.
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
I told my friend I'm afraid of the dark.
He told me to sleep on the photon.
We had to pull it out first, but it was really light.
Sex in the dark is overrated.
I want to see what I'm getting into.
When the dark knight leaves jail...
Smoking for the dark side
My dog has a glow-in-the-dark tennis ball
We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.
Children in the dark make accidents,but accidents in the dark make children.
What do you call a chicken that’s afraid of the dark
Why did the torn rope refuse to go to the dark cabin
A famous horror novelist was at a convention when a man asked, “Why are all your books so dark? I’ve tried, but I just can’t manage to read any of them.” The novelist responded,
“So you haven’t tried turning on a light then?”
What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?
Why is "Dark" spelled with a K, and not a C ? Because you can’t C in the dark.
Why was it called the dark ages?
Because of all the knights.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
They called it the dark ages
Because there was so many knights
Why do they call it the dark ages?
Because there’s so many knights!
Why was it called the dark ages?
Because of all the knights.
Why were the dark ages called the dark ages?
There were too many knights.
Why is it called the Dark Age?
Because of all the Knights.
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