From the daily sign of the El Arroyo restaurant in Austin TX
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abaganoush
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Minecraft developer say when he looked as his daily schedule?

Not a Nether meeting!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-the-BoneChurch
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
With daily practice, the lumberjack’s musical ability improved

logarithmically

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the Daily News! Get it?

Me neither, I get the Times.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tupacwolverine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I eat a lot of salt, but the WHO suggests consuming 2,000 mg of sodium daily.

I don't know what a band knows about health, but I take it with a grain of salt.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berriobvious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a drug dealer who had conditioned his men such that whenever the clock struck 12 at midnight, they would come to him for their daily stash.

And he was known as Pavlov Escobar.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Jokster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I would visit this restaurant on the daily
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gingitbros
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
More daily puns from the Inversnecky Cafe in Aberdeen, Scotland.
πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/89Dan
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
How do one armed people go about the it daily routines?

Single handedly!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The motorists always got angry at the same place on their daily commute

The cross roads

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I've started writing my updates for my team's daily meetings in the form of a nineteen-line poem with two rhymes throughout, consisting of five tercets and a quatrain.

Alas, I'm not a very good poet.

In fact, my manager told me he's never seen such a wretched scribe of scrum and villanelle.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Posting one of my daily punny drawings here for the first time, it's a real crapshoot. instagram.com/p/x619p_Gfa…
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guywhodraws
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
🚨︎ report
[Daily Jumble] Sylvester Stallone wanted to go for a relaxing swim at the beach, but it was...

...too "Rocky".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbirdistheword
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Think Spokane WA's daily newspaper is called "The Word"?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWinterMe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke Daily - The Middle Aged

https://youtu.be/1JVma0S-UXI

Michael talks about medievil times and why it is always important to consult your Encyclopedia Brittanica.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/impulsive-ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
🚨︎ report
[daily jumble] After his heart surgery, the marathon runner was happy to once again be a...

...pace-maker

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbirdistheword
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
🚨︎ report
For the 2nd time in 4 years, I got my girlfriend to laugh at one of my daily dad jokes! Hope you like it too.

We are watching a dumb hallmark Christmas movie and the main guy owns a coffee shop. He is getting married and I make fun of the fact that his vows are all coffee puns.

So my girl yells, "well, he is a coffee person!"

Me- "no babe, he is just a human person."

(Her laugh was really a slight chuckle and a "you're so dumb", but dammit, I am taking the win!)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Our family now refuses to say the word "rush" because Dad uses this line daily.

Me: I'm not in a hurry, so don't rush.

Dad: Oh I'm not rushin. I'm Italian.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnoopyLoves
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2015
🚨︎ report
The kind of stuff we deal with on a daily basis

So my mom is talking to my dad at the dinner table Mom: So I found a new women's gym! Dad: Yeah? I found a new men's Debbie

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.