From the daily sign of the El Arroyo restaurant in Austin TX
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/abaganoush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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What did the Minecraft developer say when he looked as his daily schedule?

Not a Nether meeting!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-the-BoneChurch
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
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With daily practice, the lumberjack’s musical ability improved

logarithmically

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vbloke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2020
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the Daily News! Get it?

Me neither, I get the Times.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tupacwolverine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
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I eat a lot of salt, but the WHO suggests consuming 2,000 mg of sodium daily.

I don't know what a band knows about health, but I take it with a grain of salt.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/berriobvious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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There was a drug dealer who had conditioned his men such that whenever the clock struck 12 at midnight, they would come to him for their daily stash.

And he was known as Pavlov Escobar.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Jokster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2019
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I would visit this restaurant on the daily
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gingitbros
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2018
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More daily puns from the Inversnecky Cafe in Aberdeen, Scotland.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/89Dan
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2018
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How do one armed people go about the it daily routines?

Single handedly!!!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2019
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The motorists always got angry at the same place on their daily commute

The cross roads

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2018
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I've started writing my updates for my team's daily meetings in the form of a nineteen-line poem with two rhymes throughout, consisting of five tercets and a quatrain.

Alas, I'm not a very good poet.

In fact, my manager told me he's never seen such a wretched scribe of scrum and villanelle.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Asmor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2017
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Posting one of my daily punny drawings here for the first time, it's a real crapshoot. instagram.com/p/x619p_Gfa…
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/guywhodraws
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2015
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[Daily Jumble] Sylvester Stallone wanted to go for a relaxing swim at the beach, but it was...

...too "Rocky".

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bbbbirdistheword
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2014
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Think Spokane WA's daily newspaper is called "The Word"?
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheWinterMe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2014
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Dad Joke Daily - The Middle Aged

https://youtu.be/1JVma0S-UXI

Michael talks about medievil times and why it is always important to consult your Encyclopedia Brittanica.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/impulsive-ideas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2017
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[daily jumble] After his heart surgery, the marathon runner was happy to once again be a...

...pace-maker

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bbbbirdistheword
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2014
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For the 2nd time in 4 years, I got my girlfriend to laugh at one of my daily dad jokes! Hope you like it too.

We are watching a dumb hallmark Christmas movie and the main guy owns a coffee shop. He is getting married and I make fun of the fact that his vows are all coffee puns.

So my girl yells, "well, he is a coffee person!"

Me- "no babe, he is just a human person."

(Her laugh was really a slight chuckle and a "you're so dumb", but dammit, I am taking the win!)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2015
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Our family now refuses to say the word "rush" because Dad uses this line daily.

Me: I'm not in a hurry, so don't rush.

Dad: Oh I'm not rushin. I'm Italian.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SnoopyLoves
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2015
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The kind of stuff we deal with on a daily basis

So my mom is talking to my dad at the dinner table Mom: So I found a new women's gym! Dad: Yeah? I found a new men's Debbie

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yeah_Thats_Bull_Shit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2013
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