If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?

I’d Pick Nick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations....

.....and you pick the one that will get you home earlier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.

I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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College offers some questionable class choices, but o you know which one is the most sketchy?

Art class: Pencil Drawing 101

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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The choice is clear!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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The family wasn't thrilled with my cheese choices.

Queso?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/osirisrebel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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When given the choice between two ways to get to the roof, I always choose the ladder.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ande4100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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The hardest choices require the strongest Wills
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romantheperogi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...

...he was forced to take out a restraining order.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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What's the breakfast of choice for readers of /r/dadjokes?

Groanola

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simtel12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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I was going to buy some t-bones that were really expensive but I went with the safe choice.

The steaks were too high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/41d3n_P1355
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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I didn't want to become company president but the board left me no choice...

I was backed into a corner office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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On the way to a nice meal with my wife discussing our choice of footwear

Wife: I wish I had worn my boots but I think the restaurant is a little dressier than that.

Me: I don’t think so... I almost wore my sandals.

Wife: That would have been vetoed.

Me: No, that would have been open toed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KennethPowersIII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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What is the carpet of choice for Eskimos?

Brrr Brrr.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pgtart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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What's the search engine of choice for finding pictures of attractive people to stare at?

Go ogle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borgenhaust
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Why are virgins the sacrificial choice of man eating monsters?

They're boneless! :D

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
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My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...

...would she chose the latter?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Please_Disregard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
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President trump wants to abolish and reverse all the pro choice movements that have been made...

And there's no plan b.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
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What's the merry-go-round's workout of choice?

Spin Class.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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Was talking to the wife about her choice in house decor, when...

Dad : remember when you were so into owls?

Mum: I was never into owls, that was the theme for The kids room.

Dad : I swear it was owls, all I remember was a solid 2 months of owl this and that.

Mum : ugh whatever, I don't even care.

Dad : you mean you don't give a Hoot...

Eye rolls ensued

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laughing_boy_2006
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2016
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Why is a dog the best choice to be last in a wagon train?

Because they always have their tail waggin'.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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A dad's perspective on the best career choice.

Dad: You should get a job at the U.S. Mint.

Child: Why?

Dad: Think of all the money you would make.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobSacramanto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
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Watching the kids choice sports awards when

Two guys show with these big guns ready to fire out into the crowd! This kid asks if they are slime cannons, I said no, they're t-shirt cannons!

My girlfriend turns around and says nah its Nick Cannon..

I'm just surprised I didn't say it before she did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnMcNutInMyButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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I'm at Uni so I'm on the phone talking to my dad about my new module choices, and everytime without fail the conversation will go like this.

Dad: So how's university? Still enjoying it?

Me: Oh yeah, last term was good but my new modules are grea-

Dad: Lunar modules?

Me: ...

It's not the sharpest of dad jokes, but my god if his persistence is certainly dad joke worthy. It's been going three years now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChocoMcShreddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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If given a choice of eating a sandwich in the park or watching the Nickelodeon Network all day, what would you do?

I would pick Nick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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