Last night in the forest I saw a wolf wearing a cardigan.

I think it was a knitwearwolf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway

Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting

The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver β€œpull over”

β€œNo!” yelled the woman β€œit’s a cardigan”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What does a magician do when they're cold?

The same trick twice.

"Is this your cardigan?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmy123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Me: "Honey, have you seen my sweater"?

Wife: "I think you left it in the cardigan".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyhottub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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Waitress needed to rerun a debit card at the bar I was working at.

The waitress went up to the customer and said, "Hey, I'm sorry about this but for some reason your card didn't read, I'm going to need your card again."

I overheard this from behind the bar and said, "Amber, it's the middle of the summer, why in the world would this guy have his cardigan."

That was the first and only time I ever got a tip from a guy I never served or talked to.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordbearhammer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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True story

I went to return a T-Shirt to Banana Republic today. The item wasn't on my receipt so they asked me to swipe my credit card to see if they could find it in my purchase history.

Cashier: "Hmmm, that didn't work. Sir, would you mind re-swiping, I want to try your card again." Me: "It's a T-Shirt, not a cardigan" My 13 Year Old Son: πŸ™„

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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I can't believe I'm being arrested for shoplifting.

The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markvark
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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My dad at a fast food place

Cashier: swipes Dad's credit card. hands it back.

Cashier: looks at register. Sir, can I see your card again? It didn't work the first time.

Dad: I'm not wearing a cardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevach
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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My GF stopped me from hanging up my cardigan on a hook

GF: If you hang your cardigan like that you might put a hole in it!

ME: It actually already has a couple holes in it.

She starts frantically examining the cardigan for holes.

GF: Where?!

ME: Where my arms go through!

Nothing beats the groan of disapproval after successfully landing a dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slothboyck
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
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Card Pun

The day was raining like fish blown up by dynamite. The only jacket I had for the situation was fire Red with layered protection from such fish. I'm going to my college computer lab, trying to get my 24 hours of time in there done. It requires you to sign in with your student ID.

"May I see you card?" the teacher asks.

"Sure... So, how much time do I have allotted?" I asked after she signed me in.

"Huh? Oh, wait, sorry, can I see your card again? "

"Wait, I don't own a Cardigan"

Being an English teacher, she smiled and caught it quickly, "No, your card, but your jacket might suffice otherwise."

Edit: This might be too much setup for a stiff joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonmind
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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This was too easy.

Wife: "Have you seen my cardigan? I think I left it in the car." Me: "Its there, that's why it's called a CARdigan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whooopseee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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I was pretty proud of this one.

Girlfriend: Do you like my cardigan?

Me: Yup. I liked it the first time, too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingBoner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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My dad made a classic joke today at dinner...

"I think we should hike Mt. Cardigan in the next couple weeks before it gets cold...but you know, you have to bring a sweater!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laureltess
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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